Kyoto University RFC 1st XV 19

Imperial College Union RFC 1st XV 61

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The Imperial Ninjas kicked off their tour of Japan with a match against Kyoto Imperial University. Having arrived in Japan the day before, the players were sleep deprived, jet lagged and hungover. Add the hot and humid Japanese climate into the mix and it was clear that the Ninjas would have their work cut out to open the tour with a win.

After a lengthy warm up, the Ninjas took to the field feeling as ready as possible for the game. Thirteen of the starting XV started matches for the 1st XV during the last league campaign so, despite the minimal preparation, the side still looked reasonably well oiled.

The match started at a frenetic pace with Kyoto trying to make the most of their superior fitness. The Ninjas managed to retain the majority of possession and spent a lot of time in the opposition 22. Burge, graduated in 2008 (Mech Eng) and guilty of some suspect kicking from full back, came up with the first try. From a driven lineout a ruck was formed and Cox (scrum half) hit Chalke (fly half), who in turn fed Big George (inside-centre) to crash it up into the centres. Big George managed to offload to Brown, who found Chalke with an outrageous piece of flair, who offloaded to Burge joining the line from full back to touch down in the corner. The Ninjas’ lack of match fitness began to show with some pressure from Kyoto culminating in them leveling the score at 7-7.

Moments later Captain Cotter (Number 8) scored the second try. After a short spell of ariel ping pong cotter broke away at first receiver for an easy run in down the near touchline; the Ninjas took the lead once again. Next on the score sheet was flyhalf Chalke who, with a ridiculous step, managed to scamper through a gap in the backline following a good offload from Cotter. At the break the board read 21-7 after 3 impressive conversions from Burge.

At half time the majority of the team were tired from a combination of heat, humidity, jetlag and running around for 40 minutes, they were eagerly awaiting their second wind. Everyone knew that getting the next score was crucial to killing the game off.

The second half started in a similar fashion to the first, with ICN dominating possession and taking as much time as possible to get to set pieces. Newton was the man who delivered the goods. The opposition fullback made a hopeless effort to field Barnett’s kick and possession was regained by Cox who then fed Brown. Brown managed to get the ball out to Newton whilst simultaneously receiving a chopstick to the eye…and crying.

Undoubtedly the highlight of the game was a massive 50 m driving maul from a lineout , an English cultural export who’s power can only be likened to that of a prize fighting sumo wrestler. It was once again Captain Cotter who took the touchdown. It must be said that Cotter’s second try partly made up for the two occasions on which he wasted possession by kicking it away with silly chips - one of which went out on the full. It seems not only the back three are susceptible to rubbish kicking.

The lineout play was dominated by ICN throughout the game, losing only one (the tail end jumper resembling a monkey lost in outer space). However, this wasn’t to Barnett’s satisfaction who then spent the duration of the game continuously looking to take a quick one. The one occasion he finally managed to do so ended disastrously with Cotter receiving a lofty hospital pass, landing on his face and being turned over as the forwards were 40 metres up the field. Ninjas’ tighthead, Irishman O’Rourke, commented: “Sometimes, when the backs do s*** like that, you just think, f*** it, I’m not running back 40 yards for you, sort it out yourself”. I concur.

Later in the game Barnett almost redeemed himself after the lineout fiasco leaving an opposition player sprawled on the floor and stretchered off after destroying his shoulder from a bone crunching meeting with Barnett’s solid steel abs.

The next modification to the scoreline came after the ball was shipped wide following another turnover. Centre Brown scythed through the defensive line like a keenly sharpened samurai sword to touch down in the corner. This was modestly described by Brown in a subsequent interview with the phrase: “I just saw a gap in their defence and gassed the fullback”.

The swift and tenacious Chalke scored his second try after breaking away on the 10 meter line from a well disrupted Kyoto scrum. None of the Japanese, speedy themselves, were able to stop the lightening fast and pound for pound strongest man in the club from touching down for a well deserved try.

Kyoto Imperial University managed to score a further 2 tries in the second half taking advantage of some slack defense from the Ninjas. The Kyoto player hit a good line, wrong footing ICN centre Curious “George” Lane touching down to the camp cry of “Georgieeee” from said centre’s boyfriend (rumored civil partner) Olly Cox.

The last two of the Ninjas’ 9 tries were virtually identical. Stealthy as any Ninja should be, Brown remained unnoticed in the opposition back line to intercept two passes from the Japanese fly half and run in the tries, both beneath the posts and neatly converted.

The final score was 61-19 thanks to an impressive six out of seven conversions by Burge (three from the touchline), who has himself admitted he will probably never do that again in his life. The scoreline flattered the IC Ninjas and does not do justice to the spirit and ability of their worthy opponents. If this game is anything to go by, this tour will undoubtedly provide a challenge for the Imperial Men, and one which they will certainly relish.

The post match festivities and generosity of our hosts were enjoyed and appreciated by all, with O’Rourke in particular pleased to hear his opposite number describe him as “the best prop in Japan”. Testament to IC’s touring nature, the game of flip cup landed on Japanese soil traveling more than half way round the world from Argentina 2008. Just as the drink ran dry and most of the lads had finally got to grips with the chopsticks it was time to leave, some with gifts and all with fond memories.

Team Awards Man of the Match: Freddie Chalke Twat of the Match: Louie Barnett for insisting on doing quick line-outs, which didn’t work