Last week our medical students recalled, distantly, their reason for being here: the hazy memory of a burning desire to make a difference to the world and help those unable to help themselves. Enthused with a newly found raison-d’etre not involving bodily fluids outside of the body, they have devoted themselves to RAG week and its causes.

Medics have been putting their buckets to better use this week; this time they’re off the Reynolds tables, standing upright (mostly) and travelling around London, or in some cases further afield. Some buckets travelled as far as Cambridge or Southampton last Monday. These buckets and their owners in what was officially called a “race” then had to get back to South Kensington as quickly as possible with no phone, no money and shall we say sparingly dressed, raising as much money as possible along the way.

However, this is merely the single water molecule on the tip of the iceberg that is RAG week. From serenading a royal guard with a rendition of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, to stopping traffic in Oxford Circus by lying down in the middle of the road to do boat races, there is nothing the medics won’t do to raise as much as possible for St Mary’s paediatrics department.

Due to the repercussions of an investigation by a certain paper, some of the more extravagant activities this week are unable to be reported by your faithful newspaper. For instance, we can neither confirm nor deny that certain members of Medics’ sports teams had their heads shaved, in the ritual known as ‘Four Skins’, but the best and brightest of Imperial may be able to work out the truth of this for themselves… at a push.

Other activities included a hamburger-eating contest, the sighting of a stranger’s nipple, performing mouth to mouth on a stranger, a wheelbarrow vs. leapfrog race in Hyde Park, a performance of the YMCA outside the Royal Albert Hall to rival that other less-famous event, the BBC Proms, a sexy phone call to an unknown number rumored to be that of the Rector, throwing the RAG Chair into the fountain of Trafalgar Square and of course the infamous Circle Line pub crawl (nuff said). And who knew acrobatics could be such a valuable addition to the repertoire of our future healthcare professionals? Big Ben was the site of the November student protests on tuition fees and much more importantly this week, the construction of an ICSM human pyramid. Phew I feel tired! Congratulations are in order for the highly esteemed Angus Turnball, crowned ‘RAGgiest Fresher’ at the RAG review – your children and your children’s children can be proud of your considerable achievements. Also highly commended is William Pitts who broke the record for raising the most money on his way back from Cambridge, and completing the journey in the quickest time EVER. Snaps for Master Pitts everybody!

St Mary’s Hospital is operated by the Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust. The paediatrics service includes a dedicated children’s A&E department. So it turns out all the craziness is, in the medics’ own words, “for the kids”.

If the Mail were to give their two cents on last week, their rant would probably warn us of the apocalypse and condemn us sinners to an afterlife of fire and brimstone. Needless to say, Mail journalists never partook in any questionable events during the course of their higher education. But one wonders if they were able to raise quite so much in their own RAG weeks.