Surgery Simulator literally consists of eight different operations. One of which is called ‘Road Traffic Accident’… this is the sort of level we’re operating on (pun intended). Oh, and I should warn you: “This product is a computer game and not for training or tuition purposes!!!” So you Medics that have picked up this title to enhance your surgical skills, think again.

I can’t get over the brevity of this game. Eight operations – that’s it. You can perform each operation in either a Campaign mode, which requires you to complete each operation in turn before progressing to the next, or Free Play mode, which lets you play any operation straight from the off. Additionally, there are three difficulty levels for the whole game and you can choose to have the game tell you everything to do, or nothing at all. That is the entire scope of this Surgery Simulator – it’s the sort of level of depth I’d expect from a Flash game.

No matter how many times you try and cut at the innards of your unfortunate patient, all you get is the word ‘Error’ projected at you, and no ramifications

However, the operations themselves do have some merit. Although I have no surgical experience, the operations consist of a seemingly logical series of steps, and it’s not difficult to imagine the real-life operations being reflected in these simulations. This, with the added “realism” of monitoring and correcting levels of anaesthesia, at least creates a feel of a semi-real operating theatre.

But you can’t kill anyone! No matter how many times you try and cut at the innards of your unfortunate patient, all you get is the word ‘Error’ projected at you, and no ramifications. I mean, come on, everyone has that little bit of sadist in them that wants to just be able to have their scalpel accidentally slip. The only way you can fail an operation is if you choose the wrong instrument use it on the patient too many times, or if their vitals get to dangerous levels.

This isn’t the only thing to jar you out of the simulated world. You are required to shave hairless areas, right over the wound that you are to be operating on. Not only is the step apparently unnecessary, I imagine it would be dangerous and counter-productive. But hey, what do I know? Then you have to disinfect the area, which has no visible effect on the skin, making it very difficult to complete. For a simulator, these non-realistic effects really spoil the illusion.

In short, Surgery Simulator does one thing well – and that’s the procedures themselves – but apart from that, it sucks. It has nowhere enough content to warrant its price tag and what there is feels too restricted and isn’t at all gripping. One to avoid, in my opinion.