July 2012 saw thirty intrepid Imperial College Hockey Club members travel to Portugal for two weeks of sun, sea, sand and hockey. This followed on from successful tours to Malaysia, Croatia/Slovenia and India in the last three years.

Leaving early in the morning the day after the last day of term was always going to be risky. Many of the touring party still bore visible signs of the night before but everyone made it onto the plane with a quick trip to the most expensive Wetherspoons in England for a spot of hair of the dog. Upon touch down in Porto, the first hurdle of the tour presented itself. No one on the tour spoke Portuguese so contacting the coach driver that was to take us to our hostel proved tricky. Eventually through much running around and arm waving, the tour found themselves on a bus into central Porto.

The accommodation in Porto was unlike any other previous tourers had experienced: clean, friendly and actually like the pictures online.

The first full day of tour saw our first two matches against scratch teams from Sport Club do Porto and The Porto Lawn Tennis and Cricket Club. This was when we found out the true meaning of Portuguese time as our opposition arrived a full 2 hours after the scheduled push back. This had two effects on the party. Firstly, it gave them the chance to sleep off the first hangover of tour. Secondly, it exposed some of the fairer skinned hockey players to their first round of lobsterfying, Bergamasco most notably leading the charge after he fell asleep in the sun. Rather worryingly, when the opposition did arrive they proudly announced that they had several ex international players. This did not fill us with confidence as we were barely able to walk let alone run in our current state. The two games were hotly contested as the heat on the pitch rose to match that of the surroundings, with many of the Portuguese frustrated with the strictness of the umpiring and the IC players frustrated at the local’s use of their size advantage to try to bully IC off the ball. Eventually the games ended in a 1-1 draw (BT) and a 3-1 loss (2s Captain) with the heat eventually proving too much for IC to handle. The next day presented the opportunity for a spot of culture as we walked the city on a free tour. If you ask any lecturer they will tell you that keeping 30 students entertained for a hour is hard work but our lovely guides kept us enthralled for over 3 hours as we took in all the culture we could, from J. K. Rowling to the rather odd sexual exploits of some of Porto’s most famous residents. The tour ended up by the river where we ate the local speciality Francesinha which is sure to clog even the fittest arteries with cholesterol.

After lunch a quick pop across the river found us in the heart of Porto’s famous Port district. Despite what many members may have hoped, it is the fortified wine that takes its name from the City rather than the other way around. Taylors was generally agreed to be our favourite producer and so we paid a visit to their Lodge and Wine Cellar where all sorts of intelligent questions were asked and many different ports sampled. Unfortunately no one could quite afford the Scion which came in at £2500 a bottle and we never found out the answer to the question “How many grapes does it take to make a bottle of port?”

That evening we found ourselves enjoying cocktails served in buckets, for only €5, by the river side. Measures don’t seem to apply in Portugal with the rather simpler equation of half a bottle of spirit per drink seeming to be the rule of thumb. This continued into the early hours with those hardy souls still awake watching the sunrise over Porto from the bridge Dom Luis, wiith one member of the trip attempting to get intimate with a slow moving train.

A rather sleepy 4-hour coach journey saw us arrive in the capital, Lisbon, which also heralded the return of more familiar tour accommodation with the rather less habitable Tagus Homes. Without warning and in muddled English the tour group was split into two groups with six brave souls being led off to a different building 500 yards down the road. These six had to put up with the creepy Maria who reminded one and all of a female Sweeney Todd and so the door to the dorm remained locked at all times. The other tour party had the main hostel booked out but with only 4 toilets between 25 the morning rush proved difficult at times.

More culture was to follow as the group soon discovered that it generally seemed to be a pretty effective hangover cure. However some of the group was a bit shocked to find that Sintra is pretty much just one big hill. A gruelling walk up to the top most castle was dodged by some as they chose to get the bus, which despite being overprices left many wishing they had forked out. The remaining members of the tour decided to visit the botanical gardens and its neighbouring zoo. This resulted in the small child in each resurfacing as they ran from enclosure to enclosure to see, and sometimes attempt to imitate, every animal.

Before our third match we visited the world famous aquarium in Lisbon, the Oceanário de Lisboa. The darkened corridors proved the perfect surroundings for pre game naps and the fish confusing to those who were yet to reach the hungover stage.

Our third game was a men’s match vs the Lisbon Casuals at the Olympic park. Their name lulled us into a false sense of security before we saw their highly professional warm up and a quick investigation found that several of the opposition played for Portugal in their respective age groups. A hard fought match ensued with IC eventually going down 3-0 with a stunning defensive effort by all in the sweltering heat. Special mention must go to Skid Mark, Trinh-Duc and Fresher Rob for their performances.

The fourth game took place the next day at the same venue against the Lisbon Casuals mixed team. The mixed game ended 4-4 (Poore Choice, Stumpy, 3>2, Brown Love) which reflected the evenness and good spirit the match was played in.

A final long journey deposited us in Albufeira in the heart of the Algarve. Unfortunately our match in the south was cancelled at short notice but with the temperature another 4-5 degrees hotter than in Lisbon it may have been a blessing in disguise. Much of the rest of the trip was a bit of a haze with the Strip stripping away all inhibitions and the tourers diving into the “culture” and mixing with the diverse range of “locals”.

The highlight of Albufiera had to be the boat trip on our last full day. On board a 40 foot yacht sailing down the coast, lunch on a secluded beach and, as ever, glorious sunshine. Many felt so relaxed that they decided a spot of exercise would do them good and chose to swim back to the yacht despite the rather arctic temperature of the water. All but Bergamasco and Token managed the 400 yard swim back as they had to be to be rescued by the landing boat that was keeping close tabs on “the crazy English people”.

It was a great tour and although we returned home winless it’s the taking part that counts. For anyone considering joining ICHC, whether you have picked up a stick before or not, please contact [email protected].

ICHC is proud to be sponsored by KPMG and MEM Consumer Finance Ltd.