Dressing up: probably the reason I love going to Bestival every year. In 2010, a pair of twins I know dressed as colonial-era hunters and chased the other festival-goers who had so foolishly dressed as characters from The Fantastic Mr Fox. (Last year, well, a picture speaks a 1000 words [see right].) There’s no greater pleasure than writing about a topic that you enjoy, so I will do my best to add some Isle of Wight hate into the next 300 or so words, just to balance things out.

Let’s get started. In 2009, Duncan Thomson and Sammi Gardiner, residents of the Isle of Wight, had a Star Wars-themed wedding. Worst still, they had the wedding on the 4th of May so they could say, “May the 4th be with you”. On the other hand: De La Soul, New Order, Justice, and pretty much the whole freakin’ Brainfeeder crew are playing Bestival this year. On a personal note, Gold Panda, whose Lucky Shiner tour I missed, and whose Lucky Shiner album is probably the best electronic album since Alexander Bell patented the first electric loudspeaker, is on the roster. (I hope you’ll excuse me a little, ‘HOLY FREAKIN’ YEAAAAH’).

Aside from the music, Bestival always impresses with the amount of alternative activities there are. Last year I ‘starred’ as the hotel receptionist in Ghostbusters; the year before I ran across tubs of cornstarch goo (as I believe is the scientific term for it). There’s a fantastically eclectic mix of stuff to do when you’re not skanking out in the Bollywood Tent – you’ll see. But if I’m honest, Bestival is a bit… errr, middle-class.

In fairness, the music is a good few floors away from mainstream, but I’m afraid there’s no way I’ll be able to argue that a festival with luxury teepees and, new this year, “wood-burning Scandinavian hot tubs and a sauna area” is anything like the rough-and-tumble of Reading & Leeds festival; there’s no ritual tent burning for one thing. I don’t know about you, but I can’t help but look back at my 17-year-old self at Reading and think that’s not necessarily a bad thing…

Ok, next reason to hate the Isle of Wight: Osama Bin Laden was a big fan of ales from the Isle of Wight… Moving swiftly along, the theme this year is Wildlife, which is a guarantee that someone will completely ignore the theme and ‘dress up’ in a full-body spandex suit. Non-douchebags, take note: your costume is key – get it right and you’ll be a muthafuckin’ BAWWS.

Alas, I’ve used up all my space. Tickets are £179.95 [inc. booking fee], which considering that most gigs cost between £15-20 nowadays and you’re going to see far more than 10 artists, is still pretty good. I’ve got mine – student loan, thank you – don’t forget yours.

Bestival is from the 6th-10th of September on the Isle Of Wight. See the website for more information