Some of you may remember 2009. Those who don’t may want to put their thinking caps on for a moment (and maybe lay off the bath salts for a few face-chewing minutes). 2009 was the earth-shattering year in which the painfully mediocre band Ash decided the album was dead. They went on to prove that the album had kicked the bass and gone to the holy record player in the sky by recording a series of singles that, wait for it, they ended up releasing as a compilation that looked, to the untrained eye, suspiciously like an album. I recount to you this tale of hubris and face-plantingly abject failure because I want to provide a good contrast between the dumbest mutha-whats in modern music, and Adam Bainbridge (Kindness), who feels like the smartest mutha-fo in modern music.

This album, with touches of Arthur Russell and Prince, has for the first time in my life helped me understand pop music. I keep trying to think of smart, esoteric genres that will describe Kindness but I keep coming back to the same thought: “It’s pop throwback, it’s nostalgic, it’s disco, it’s awesome; to hell with you all!” I spent my childhood scratching my head in utter confusion while watching Top of the Pops 2, but now I’m considering making “Music Was Better During The Cold War” my official slogan…

The album has its weaknesses, the most obvious is that at times it doesn’t feel entirely cohesive and as one, but its high points are dizzyingly high. ‘Cyan’, a song that’s been around on the interwebz for some time, is as close to achieving pop transcendance as my limited pop knowledge will allow me to claim. It’s got an irresistible beat, an impeccable intro, and little drops of, I’m guessing, xylophone which make it instantly addictive. House is another treat which sounds a bit like what James Blake would if he stopped wingeing for second. My favourite though is ‘Gee Up’, which is 1:52 of unadulterated funky bass. (It also has the wittiest music video I’ve seen in a long, long time).

Kindness has spoken wistfully of the effort that used to go into buying and listening to albums. Once you’d made your purchase you wouldn’t just casually click shuffle and listen to something else. You’d invested in the album and “the money that you spent and the scarcity of music prior to the internet and streaming meant that you would make the effort to listen and listen and listen”, he told the Telegraph. It’s 2012, and I made next to no investment in listening to World, You Need A Change Of Mind [Spotify], but boy have I listened, and listened, and listened.

If you thought you’d seen the end of this column, and are peeved that it’s back, tweet @kadhimshubber and tell me to “Go the hell back where you came from!” Alternatively, tweet @feliximperial threatening to call The Daily Telegraph…