According to your personal statement, ever since you can remember you have always wanted to study RNA replication, so we here know you love a bit of science. Even if you actually meant it, and we know some of you probably didn’t, science will no doubt be at the back of your mind this week. But so it should be! This week is all about making friends in halls, drinking in halls, planning to go to Ministry of Sound and then giving up after finding out the route home takes two buses. However, if you can’t bear to ask yet another person what A-Levels they did, or what halls they are in, you can always deploy some of these facts whilst waiting for a pint in FiveSixEight. Even if you don’t feel like using science chat up lines (that helicase one is a winner, by the way) you may still learn some hints and tips to get you through this undoubtedly messy week.

Alcohol – possibly the only friend you may make this week

Ethanol, that cheeky little two carbon compound, is what gives pints a punch- after being absorbed into the bloodstream it is transported to the liver, and then broken down by two sets of enzymes. It is first converted into acetaldehyde by one enzyme, alcohol dehydrogenase, and then into acetate by another, aldehyde dehydrogenase. When these are imbalanced, and aldehyde dehydrogenase is less efficient, acetaldehyde builds up and delivers the Asian Flush some of you might experience this week. Ethanol is metabolised at a rate of around one regular drink every ninety minutes, so if you succumb to the usual calls of “Down it Fresher!” too regularly, your blood alcohol level will rise, and it will eventually effect your brain. With ethanol being a depressant, meaning it enhances the effects of the inhibitory neurons whilst weakening the excitatory neurons in your brain, it will at first make you relaxed, then tired, then eventually will make you pass out. Please refrain from writing on your friend’s face if this happens, or at least do it once you have put them to bed. No doubt one day (possibly even Wednesday this week) it will be you in the same position!

Hangovers – no pain, no gain, right?

Science is still uncertain about what a hangover actually is- the best guess is that it is a collection of symptoms which manifest due to the multiple physiological effects from drinking alcohol. With alcohol being a diuretic it naturally increases urinary output leading to dehydration, causing thirst and dizziness in the morning. It is an irritant and can also stimulate a higher rate of production of gastric secretions, with both resulting in nausea and the possibility of vomiting. Finally it can cause vasodilatation of blood vessels in the brain, making the brain press against the skull and delivering that characteristic hangover headache. If you are smart enough to take painkillers before the onset of the hangover, only take aspirin as paracetamol is metabolised by the liver too, which is under enough strain as it is.

#### Fresher’s Flu – when the cough syrup replaces the Jägerbombs

This blanket term is generally used to cover the run-down feeling that comes from not sleeping enough, not eating properly or drinking more than you probably can handle, but can be caused by infections too. Usually this “flu” is actually a manifestation of the common cold. With there being 200 different types of viruses that can cause a cold, and factoring in the many different nationalities you will probably bump into around campus, it is inevitable you will encounter a strain you are not already immune to. Combined with exhaustion, poor nutrition and excessive drinking, your already weakened immune system doesn’t stand a chance this week if that sniffling guy in your intro lecture sneezes in your direction. The beginning of the new academic year also coincides with the beginning of flu season too, so even if you manage to avoid human contact for the whole week (and I know full well some of you will) you still may find yourself sneezing by Sunday. Freaking out about Fresher’s flu? Arm yourself with hand sanitizer, a packet of tissues (infused with that nice Aloe Vera to keep your nose from going all scaly) and a properly cooked meal every now and then. If you still don’t manage to escape it, you will feel right as rain by November. Promise. So, with your snakebite in one hand, your hand sanitiser in another and a brain full of fun fresher facts, I fail to see just how you could not have a fun time this Welcome Week. Relax, socialise, don’t blow your whole student loan on a food shop in Harrods and generally enjoy your time as a brand new student. Look out for us at Fresher’s fair and write for Science too- we might just accidently tell your tutor your personal statement was all lies otherwise.