It was suggested by certain Felix editors that Football come up with an engaging piece on its recent summer tour to Budapest because everyone cares about what we did for our summer vacation. I diligently wrote a piece, though seemingly my first draft wasn’t good enough for this highly coveted newspaper and for that I am tremendously sorry. Since I’ve got nothing better to do with my time than my pesky doctorate I decided to take to heart the editors comments and do my utmost to make it interesting and less personal. Without our outstanding content, how else will Imperial student be able to know what ACC football did on a summer holiday tour?

Because reality is slightly boring, I’ve had to embellish parts of our trip for reader satisfaction and view counts. It was decided that the setting of Hungary was a bit too mundane so I’ve changed it to a beautiful beach in the Panamanian archipelago of Bocas Del Toro, bordering Costa Rica to engage readers more. Furthermore, because football is not to everyone’s liking I’ve chosen to remove all mentions of the sport. For now we’ll call them “non-descriptive” activities to best allow for reader immersion into the story. Another major selling point for any story is a feel good ending. So instead of the protagonists having any sort of fun and relaxing, I’ve replaced the character’s motivations with nobler causes such as helping the elderly, eliminating malaria in the region, and highlighting the plight of small businesses in traveller havens due to foreign corporations buying them out. Now that we’ve outlined all major changes made to our dire trip to Hungary, we may begin our fantastical journey.

“Without our outstanding content, how else will students know what ACC Football did on a summer holiday tour?”

The football team went to Hungary for a sporting tour and all members involved had a lot of fun together. Sometimes we drank, sometimes we played football, and sometimes we did both. To anyone interested in knowing more about tour, I would ask that you make your way to the union this Wednesday evening following trials and come talk to me so I can properly describe the trip in all its splendour. And that’s what we did for our summer and I owe it all to those editors for inspiring me to write this all out so that now I can put “Felix Contributor” on my CV and all it took was 400 words.

_Note from the Sports Editor: Yes, apologies for being honest about the first draft… Look on the bright side: you can tell freshers you are a published contributor now.

For anyone looking to contribute to the sports section (tours, match reports etc.) shoot an email to [email protected]. Keep it entertaining though. A story-form-itinerary isn’t. _