So I guess some of you were expecting a Modern Warfare 3 review, right? I barely have enough money to subsist on dry bread and so little free time that I can only sleep for half an hour each day, so you expect me to purchase and play COD: MW3? I guess a man can dream. If you’re all good little girls and boys I’ll have one of my richer contributors review it next week. But for now, enjoy/endure this amusing little piece about everyone’s favourite modern army shooter. It would have gone into the news section, but apparently only big news goes there, picky editors.

It seems that the European release date of November 8 was a little too far away for some folk. Emulating a crime that wouldn’t be out of place in a GTA game, two enterprising masked men wielding tear gas grenades hijacked a French truck carrying 6000 copies of Infinity Ward’s latest product. The two men, no doubt amazingly dedicated gamers, pulled out the drivers and escaped with the truck, along with its precious shipment. The cargo’s overall value? Just shy of £350,000.

In other news, similar attacks were reported several hours later on vans carrying large quantities of Gatorade and Cheetos. Coincidence? I’ll let you decide.