I had no intention to watch “Made in Chelsea”, but being otherwise unoccupied, along with the fact that it was playing on my friend’s laptop in front of me, I found myself succumbing to three episodes thereof. It was painful.

For those who have yet to see it, ‘Made in Chelsea’ is a pseudo-American-style crossover between reality TV and soap opera, such that I am still not sure if it is ‘real’ or choreographed. Either way, most of the ‘cast’ are wooden enough to make trees jealous and the storyline (if you can call it that) is worse than bad.

The group of apparently very rich, snobbish prats go on spontaneous holidays and sometimes more than one date per day. Ollie, a man so camp he makes Christmas look manly, reveals that he is bisexual. This is a great surprise to his orange girlfirend, who has until now ignored his makeup-wearing, shoulder-length hair-straightening, fake-tanning and effeminate mannerisms. Slimy Francis proclaims rather glibly “business is the modern warfare, and I am a general”. No small wonder he finds himself without a girlfriend then, despite the advances of his annoying (but apparently bangworthy) Lithuanian intern.

In with the Flynns” is, it seems, a poor rehashing of other BBC shitcoms like “The Life of Riley” and “My Family”, which are all based around the conveniently small (and cheap) set of a family home. The BBC seem to be under the delusion that canned laughter actually makes things funny, rather than irritating. Canned laughter is for the uneducated, those who need prompting before they realise that they need to laugh. Seriously, don’t watch it.

What to watch this week:

Monday | 9PM - 10PM | Channel 4

Embarrassing Fat Bodies - Some people are so fat that they need to make a documentary. A husband and wife that have a combined weight of 52 stone (who goes on top?) receive medical advice (such as “try eating less”) and a 21 year old mother exhibits her colossal funbags.

Tuesday | 9PM - 10PM | BBC1 Luther - Psychological detective drama nominated for a Golden Globe award for its last series. Brilliant: don’t miss it.

Wednesday | 9PM - 10PM | BBC2 Wonderland - The Kids Who Play With Fire - Documentary about three feral children with a penchant for setting fire to things. Counsellors try to guide them away from a lifetime of picking up the soap.

Thursday | 9PM - 10PM | BBC1 Breaking into Britain - Evan Davis presents a documentary about illegal immigrants. Why couldn’t it have been Bernard Manning?