I am not a fan of musicals. There, I’ve said it. When you grow up spending every waking moment with ‘theatrical types’ who sit around reciting ballads from Les Miserables, musicals can make you hate them. Listening to song after whiny song which all fail to add any story to the show, and with music which is at best a notch above mediocre, for me, musical theatre is a curse.

That said, as much as I despair admitting it, there is the odd bit of musical theatre I’m quite partial to (big U-turn I know, bear with me). Chicago can’t really go wrong; Billy Elliot was a good tory-bashing laugh, and Cabaret, well that’s just pretty awesome (although it’s a push even calling it musical theatre). The difference is that in these musicals, the scenes between the songs don’t feel like they’ve only been included to give the band a break. A real plot, with interesting characters and, to top it off, good music is such a rarity in musical theatre. So, with all that considered, this week I went, voluntarily, off to see the Morphic Graffiti production of Batboy.

_Batboy _is about a boy, who is a bit of a bat, and a bit of a boy. In what feels like the deleted scenes from a low-end episode of South Park, the show opens in the beautiful town of Hope Falls (or High Falls… I can’t remember), and a delightful group of fundamentalist Christians stumble across what can only be called a mini-Dracula. Right from the get go we are greeted to a huge, spectacular, if pretty dull opening number. With a set not far off a west end stage, and the costume and lighting to match, all the indicators are that of a high end production. Directed by Luke Fredericks for Morphic Graffiti and produced by Paul Taylor-Mills Ltd, the team behind Batboy is stunning for a small theatre show.

Finishing on a high, the only regret is that it took them over an hour to impress us

The problem is that in musicals, all the singing and the dancing and the band mean that actors have to wear microphones (another thing I hate). In principal this would have been ok, but, whether it was the fault of the American accents or the tech, I couldn’t understand a word. For anyone who has ever been on stage, two of the first things you are taught are to perform towards the audience, and diction. Not for the sake of it, but because above everything else, the audience have to understand what you are saying. So it was for the whole first half, in which we see a typical American family take in and teach Batboy, that all the big musical numbers sounded like a glorious chorus of mumbling.

Somewhere between a college humour sketch and a tame version of the Book of Mormon, the first half of Batboy doesn’t really know what it wants to be. Having jumped around the stage with almost no purpose for the first thirty minutes of the show, in the space of one song Batboy suddenly develops into a well-spoken, intelligent and (somewhat) caring member of the family. With his newfound wisdom, Batboy desperately wants to be accepted into the community, but of course not all goes to plan.

Usually, I’d leave out the rest of the story not wanting to spoil it, but this time there isn’t really much plot to talk about. The first half continues in much the same vein, stuck in second gear with little prospect of the show picking up. It’s a shame since the production value of the show is particularly impressive for such a small venue, but the mixture of random serious moments and a white guy rapping (badly) makes the whole first half feel oddly ridiculous.

Staging, costumes, lighting…all the indicators are that of a high end production

As you can imagine, I did not have huge hopes for after the interval but remarkably, the second half opened with vastly more energy and enthusiasm than before. A number of particularly funny moments and an almost interesting story finally gave me something to smile about. Although the Christian revival scene fits all the secular clichés, the music (a jazzy number with a bit of life) had my foot tapping away to the almost certain irritation of the guy sitting next to me (he seemed to enjoy the show even less than I did). Followed by a few raunchy scenes between Batboy and his pseudo adopted sister, and a hilarious appearance by “mother nature”, the show reached a somewhat sexual climax that the second half certainly deserved. Topped off by an amusing twist at the end, the show finished on a high with the only regret being that it took them over an hour to try and impress us.

The cast need to be given their due credit when it comes to performing in musical numbers. Although few performances really stood out, more experienced members of the cast such as Lauren Ward and Matthew White playing Mr & Mrs Parker came across as more comfortable on stage and felt more convincing when singing and acting. That is not to say that the performances of Batboy, played by Rob Compton and of Shelley Parker played by Georgina Hagen did not impress. However, too many musicals compromise on a performer’s ability to sing, act or dance. It takes an incredible performer to pull off all three parts of musical theatre well and although the cast of Batboy gave it a good shot, such performers are in particularly short supply.

So the question is would I go see the show again? No, probably not. I hate musical theatre and Batboy really doesn’t fulfil many of the criteria which would make me change my mind about a musical. It is funny, and at times even the music is good. But if you’re like me, as good as the second half was, the first is just too boring to voluntarily sit through. As is often the case, large chunks of the audience absolutely loved the show; I guess I’ve just got too many of the critical genes in my family. I’m just way too boring for musical theatre (give me Hamlet any day). But if you’re not like me and actually like to have a good time, should you go see Batboy? I don’t know. Go watch it and if you loved it, I will happily take the credit - if you hated it, I told you so.

_Bat Boy: The Musical runs until 31st January. Tickets £22 adults; £18 concessions. _