Remember last week’s postgrad graduation day? It made the Union of ton of dough. The largest graduation ceremony to date which saw a record of 9,400 guests attend, brought Union shops and outlets a total of £34,715. That’s about 13 grand more than last year and eight grand more than the record year of 2015.

“What did people buy?” I hear you ask. Don’t worry we enquired for you. The five most popular items were: 1. Leavers T-shirt – £12.50 – 140 units sold 1. Graduation mug – £9.00 – 124 units sold 1. Graduation reddy keyring – £1.95 – 120 units sold 1. Graduation Bear – £19.95 – 103 units sold 1. Crest pin badge – £2.35 – 81 units sold What does this tells us? Two things: That everyone loves a bear and that no one will believe you graduated from Imperial unless you’re wearing a T-shirt that’s got it in writing. Postgrad Graduation Day saw over 3,284 graduates receiving their diplomas. That means that proud families spent a tenner on average on their graduates. That’s on top of the £51-58 that gown hire costs and a hat purchase (you can’t hire them) which will set you back another £30. Proud parents are another extra that will cost you £35 a pop. If you think it’s worth it, to watch Boyce Avenue at the Royal Albert Hall in November, booking a ticket now wouldn’t cost you more than £30. And these are just the essentials.

We’re not even going to talk about pictures, wax figurines and engraved rings. From ticket sales to the graduates’ family and friends, College is estimated to have made about £328,000.

When asked about profits a College spokesperson said that Imperial “endeavours to keep the cost of Graduation day as low as possible and we do not charge students for their attendance [Aw how sweet]. The income received from guest tickets only covers part of the cost to the College – no surplus funds whatsoever are received from Graduation.”

I guess thanks are in order.