The BBC's Sound of 2010

Joy Orbison

Thank God, they got one right.

This producer and dj is no longer underground dubstep’s little secret and hopefully will start getting the commercial success he deserves.

Joy Orbison started DJing at the tender age of 12, back when he was still mortal and called Peter O’Grady. He then set up his own label (Doldrums) and has been honing his skills ever since.

If his Fabric sets and recent releases are anything to go by, he’s only getting better.

Gold Panda

Gold Panda is a Japan-obsessed, leftfield, electronic artist who stands out from the BBC’s selection by being truly original.

Lacking in mainstream appeal, his songs combine samples taken from charity shop VHS cassettes with low-key moody backing akin to Four Tet.

Perhaps the most important find on this list, he may not find fame and chart success in 2010 (his myspace doesn’t display the marks of an intense PR push) but I bet he will be around much longer than most of the artists that made it onto this list.

The Drums

The Drums are the NME’s tip for 2010 and like most of NME’s tips, they have a hollow look in their eyes and sound a lot like The Smiths.

These New York ‘cool kids’ who sing about surfing are probably some record label’s attempt at filling the time between now and the next MGMT album.

They’ll probably turn out like their comrades in catchy whistling: Peter, Bjorn and John and disappear after their one song is released about 4 times.

Owl City

He has 20 million plays on myspace by re-imagining The Postal Service through the eyes of cretin.

He’s already had a Number 1 song in America so we’ve really got to hand it to the BBC for spotting him.

This man is an idiot, one of his lyrics is as follows: ’10 million fireflies, I’m weird cause I hate goodbyes.’ See? Idiot.

If you have never listened to Postal Service then you probably won’t understand the urge I have to track him down and punch him in the ovaries.

Ellie Goulding

The latest in the relentless wave of young female singer songwriters, like a zombie invasion with too much hairspray and 80’s shoulder pads… and I’m pretty sure you can only kill them by removing the head.

I probably wouldn’t be too offended by Ms Goulding (she just follows in the hardly original footsteps of Little Boots without adding to or taking anything away from the formula) except she’s recorded a horrible cover of Bon Iver’s “Wolves” with shallow electronically distorted vocals... Kill me please.

Devlin

It was bound to happen: the BBC found the Eminem of grime! By that I mean an angry little white dude with mad flow.

The beats are fast, the music is menacing and there’s obviously lots of violent lyrics, some witty ones too. But there’s nothing here that Wiley ain’t done before.

But if you’re not already massively into grime, why would you be remotely interested in Devlin? Oh wait… ‘cos he’s white. Thanks for treating us like retards, BBC.

Daisy Dares You

The BBC wants us to believe that “Bubblegum punk” is the sound of 2010. Seriously? This is a fucking joke.

This preppy sixteen year old sounds like Avril Lavigne with a guitar rammed up her ass.

Seriously there’s nothing to say here. I’d rather receive a fisting by twelve coked-up baboons than listen to her shitty auto-tuned tween angst ever again.

IT’S ALREADY BEEN DONE! IT WASN’T EVEN THAT GOOD FIRST TIME AROUND!