Is Stephen Fry right about women's sexuality?

Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry? Oh dear, I may as well go watch Hollyoaks and eat a Kit Kat. While we’re at it, the Beatles aren’t just a band – they are a way of life.

Stephen Fry, National Treasure™, has been quoted as saying women are uninterested in sex, except as the price for a relationship. Apparently, we’re all lying back and thinking of introducing him to our parents at Christmas. It doesn’t help that I imagine him saying it as General Melchett in Blackadder.

Apparently, he never meant it (not that he never said it, and I have scrutinised his blog on the subject, before you ask). Maybe so, but I think it reveals some underlying opinions about women and sexuality.

So apparently straight men wish they, like gay men, could frequent the shadier areas of Hampstead Heath in hopes of getting their rocks off. Eh? Most of the gay men I know just go to a club or bar, the same as straight men and women. Cruising public lavs isn’t a sign of sexuality, it’s a product of a by-gone era where homosexual activity was forced into the shadows. Straight men don’t usually go cottaging, because there have always been plenty of brothels for that sort of nonsense. Women don’t, because it isn’t the 1800s and we can just go pick someone up in a club. It’s nothing to do with whether women are horny or not, it’s because ‘Let’s go outside’ is a brilliant song, but a poor sex tip.

Straight men don’t usually go cottaging, because there have always been plenty of brothels for that sort of nonsense. Women don’t, because it isn’t the 1800s and we can just go pick someone up in a club

Another strand of his purported argument was that women pretend to like sex to get men to give them what they want, be that money or a relationship. It is a patronising opinion to have of women, but also of men. In my experience, they aren’t all sexual junkies, but do on occasion want the relationships ascribed as being a purely feminine desire. They also sometimes use sex for monetary gain.

I think guys have it reinforced to them all the time by our culture, that, while women may look like they are autonomous beings, secretly, they only ever think about what men are upto. For example, most action films will just include a love interest, if any female character at all, who just talks about how worried she is about the hero. Romcoms, conversely, will feature all sorts of conversations between women, which will almost always be about hating/loving a guy.

Bullshit. Mostly, my conversations with my female friends are about books, science, music, our friends, our careers. Sometimes, we talk about men. My every move is not dictated by what men want, but what I want. If that is sex, it is regardless of what I can gain afterwards.

And frankly, the idea of sex in a park reeks of cider-infused teenage fumblings. Come on Darling, let’s go inside.