Colin Hill against the union refurbishments

As I’m sure most of you have read recently, the Union has decided to spend £2.4 million on renovating dB’s and da Vinci’s. Personally, I like the union the way it is; it’s a fantastic establishment where all my friends are, “cutting up some mad shapes on the D-Floor” is perfectly acceptable and the staff give the right amount of leniency to raucous behaviour.

Do we really need to spend £2.4 million pounds on renovations? No. A new nightclub will not suddenly change the Union from being a rampant sausage fest into a quality establishment. In my opinion, there are much better uses for this money: either pump it back into the clubs and societies, whose members have spent so much of there not so hard earned student loans in there, or use it to offer better drink promotions to students. From my own calculations I worked out that £2.4 million pounds could provide free beer to students for at least 5 years or make it half price for 10 (based on 4500 pints per week)! Of course, people will say this plan isn’t sustainable but surely within the next 10 years even more money will be spent redoing the union. After all the current set up is only a few years old.

dB’s is most full on a Wednesday, especially ACC bar nights, and I’m pretty sure most sports players would prefer £1 beers all the time than a new nightclub. The student’s favourite after all is Cheapskates; a shitty hole in Soho but with 80p drinks, a comical decor and packed to the rafters every Wednesday (and Monday). It’s clearly true that no one really cares where they are, if your with your mates, the booze is cheap and the establishment is marginally better than Josef Fritzl’s basement then the night is guaranteed for success. All the Union needs is a few leopard skin sofas, some zebra print carpets and some dance poles.

I’ve got a solution to the fucking pillar problem, make it a pole for drunk Americans to dance around after a few too many snakebites on a Friday night. The classic response from the Union is that our bars are the cheapest in London. Not true. The Goose is £1.65 for a Tetley’s, a smooth 35p less than John Smiths and £6 for a bottle of Blossom Hill, a crisp £4 less than the house in the Union.

Don’t even get me started on the new names proposed. As humorous as “going for a pint in the library” would be, the novelty would soon wear off. When UCL did the same thing they ended up with a bar called the Chris Akabusi Pleasure Lounge. Do we really lack a sense of humour that “Library” is the best we could come up with? If you agree with me, please email Ashley Brown at president@imperial.ac.uk under the header “I’d rather have free beer than a new nightclub!” We can make a difference people!