What We Watched

This week's TV treated us to two chilling new episodes of the brilliantly gory Silent Witness, which starts with womanising Harry taking a trip to Budapest to perform a second post mortem on a Romanian prostitute who suspiciously turned up looking cadaverous in the River Danube. I have always considered it slightly odd that the pathologists seem to single-handedly conduct an entire murder investigation, but I suppose there wouldn't be much drama if they stuck to their usual mandate of messing around with the victims' insides.

The first of these two episodes actually turned out to be the exception to this rule as the team got caught up with the Hungarian Mafia (Police?), but as usual, it was packed with loads of cliff-hanging drama and a little [big] bit of tragedy... Your mourning will last for days if you are a long-term fan ñ the suspense kills! Definitely one to watch if you missed it.

At the cutting edge of shit TV this week was Channel 4's all new series The Joy of Teen Sex ñ a horrifying expose of some of Britain's best ugly people. A great bullfrog of a woman proffered tips to improve the taste of a man's mayonnaise and a sex doctor tries to convince a sixteen year old muntbag that contraception is a good idea because of how much of a village bike she is. Later, in what the mother describes as her 'proudest moment yet', she eventually gets the implant. I hope it fucking hurts. Slag.

The fifth episode of Lucas and Walliams' Come Fly With Me conformed to expectations by being almost exactly identical to the previous 4. In typical 'Little Britain' style the rather tenuous characters evolve last week's sketch ever so slightly by altering a few words. Funny? Yes, in a way, but it seems to be mostly catering for the playground audience and their eternal desire for something repetitive to annoy their poor teachers with. I'm not sure I'd bother to catch the whole series, maybe the odd episode here and there.

Similarly, Hustle is one of those programmes that I always intend to watch, but there's always something better to do. Having to write something about it meant I probably should make an effort to the tune of one or two episodes ñ I have to say I was a little disappointed. Entertaining though it was, it was reminiscent of a low-budget version of 'Spooks' that stretched credibility like Anne Widdecombe stretches underwear (...and skin). That being said; it was very watchable and did make me spend around 40 minutes brushing my teeth because I didn't want to miss a second. Thinking back, that must be what the pause button is for.

The redeeming factor is undoubtedly the excellent casting of the main characters, who are so comfortable in their roles that it could almost pass as a documentary if it weren't for the over-the-top areseholeishness of the usual 'baddies'. This, considering the genre, is no mean feat, but I still think it'd be brilliant if one of them shouted BANTER when the mark realises they've been conned. James Simpson