What We Watched...

The words "Period Drama" usually conjure up a rose-tinted image of vast country estates, sunshine and happy endings. The fact that The Tudors isn't shown at prime time may lead one to believe that it is just more of the aforementioned – possibly a repeat; rather than the fact that it is actually a massive shagfest.

King Henry is wonderfully portrayed as the bit-of-a-dick he probably was, and his wife (or the current one at least) looks young enough to make him a nonce by today's standards. She's a daft bint too. Most of the characters are engaged in a spot of extra-marital banging, and in this week's episode the King's footman ploughed the Queen.

And in case you need any more reason to watch it – Henry Cavill, the British actor who was recently cast as Superman (and who previously narrowly missed out on the roles of Batman and James Bond), plays Charles Brandon, advisor to Henry VII.

The BBC's This World programme follows the US Immigration and Customs Enforcement service ('The Paedophile Hunters') whilst they track down American citizens fiddling with kids abroad. The narrator's attempt to intone a serious nasal dirge into the script, which includes phrases such as "found with a large collection of dildos" perhaps makes light of a rather disturbing subject matter.

Waterloo Road (a.k.a. The Amanda Burton Show) returned this week for its sixth series. For viewers of a public-school disposition it should form a fantastic insight into the edification (or not) of the lower classes. For myself, having attended a state comprehensive in that area generally known as "The North"; it brings back fond memories of school! (Yes that's right... we used to watch it in lessons...).

A few new characters have been introduced to keep things fresh but the plot is still as blatantly obvious as an erection in a pair of Speedos

A few new characters have been introduced to keep things fresh but the plot is still as blatantly obvious as an erection in a pair of Speedos. If you're one of those people who takes TV a little too seriously you'll feel the need to slap 'Kyle Stack' or 'Finn Sharkey' (what names...) most of the time, particularly if they remind you of that twat that used to sit at the back of the classroom shouting 'cabbages' at random intervals.

Karen Fisher's long-lost daughter returns and makes false allegations of sexual assault which are investigated by deputy Mr Mead - who, incidentally, had it off with her sister last term (...banter!). This somehow turns into an epic situation involving a bull mastiff and some sickly student-teacher flirting, which I presume is designed to push even the most cringe-immune of people over the edge.

The latest double-episode of Silent Witness was something of a disappointment after last week's when we fretted for a whole twenty-four hours about whether he was actually dead. This week we wonder whether he'll leave for another job. Those script writers really have it in for poor Harry.

Speaking of leaving; John Nettles' role in the nation's favourite country crime-drama Midsomer Murders came to an end on Wednesday after sixteen years of playing DCI Tom Barnaby. Anyone hoping for an all-out murder extravaganza was disappointed as Barnaby spent much of the two hours (being grumpy) at a health retreat. There is murder in the end, but it's certainly not Nettles at his best. Hardly fitting for the end of an era.