Two Girls One Cup

Two Girls One Cup is a scatological fantasy drama centered around a solitary cup, which is shared by the two girls named in the title. Produced by Brazilian company MFX Media in 2007, it is the notorious work of the self-described “compulsive fetishist” Marco Fiorito. What a dirty bastard he is.

Originally intended as a trailer for the (now apparently banned) film “Hungry Bitches”, Two Girls One Cup [GOOD GOD DON'T CLICK THIS LINK, MEGA NSFW] is at its most efficacious when viewed immediately after a meal. Particularly if that meal consisted of chocolate ice cream.

The opening scene manifests itself to the viewer much like the average lesbian pornographic movie would (I assume...). The two main characters are kissing to the soundtrack of “Lovers’’ Theme” from Gerard Oury’s 1971 film “Delusions of Grandeur”. The audience are then transported via the medium of a rapid crossfade to the debut appearance of The Cup. The Cup is proffered unwillingly to the anus, as if blissfully unaware of what it is about to receive, and then, in a fleeting moment of cataclysmic defecation, its purpose becomes apparent.

The sixty-second clip is probably the most coprophagia I have witnessed since Nick Clegg had to eat his own words over tuition fees

In the now infamous words of the Ugandan Pastor Doctor Martin Ssempa, the two girls then proceed to eat da poo poo, like ice cream, like ice cream. Rather than summarily vomiting, the Two Girls find the need to induce physical sickness by means of the pharyngeal reflex. This, I summise, is rather strange given that they have both just engaged in an act of mutual fecal consumption.

Logic, it seems, is precluded here. One might suspect that the motive behind the vomiting may be to expel the ingested detritus, but the disgorged filth is poured unceremoniously into the mouths of the Girls and onto The Cup, which is still brimming with recently excreted fecal matter. The Cup is then utilised without delay as the source of this egregious, bilious mixture, which becomes the catalyst for an intense sequence of lustful undertakings.

The screen fades to black and I can stop peeking through my cardigan. The sixty-second clip is probably the most coprophagia I have witnessed since Nick Clegg had to eat his own words over tuition fees. There is (I am told) a conspiracy surrounding the origin of the brown substance which is so voraciously gorged upon by the Two Girls - apparently it’s ice cream. Fiorito allegedly uses chocolate ice cream in some of his movies, to “appease some of his actors who [are] willing to appear in scat films but not actually eat fecal matter”. I hope so. Don’t watch it.