“Better than the Olympics”

Last Friday, the game famous for ending disputes amongst friends and acquaintances worldwide arrived at Imperial. In what can only be described as probably the most eventful lunchtime of the term so far, Imperial played host to the inaugural Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Championship (or RPS, as it’s called by almost nobody). Felix brings you an on the ground report of the lunchtime’s events.

Students and staff from all departments assembled beneath the Queen’s Tower to participate in the momentous event. The Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Championship was officially declared open by Denis Wright, Dean of Students, and Jane Neary, Director of Commercial Services, as they gave participants an exemplary demonstration of how to play the game.

After an energetic warm-up, participants battled against each other valiantly, showing impressive dedication and commitment to the sport. Brutally, however, fifty percent of players were wiped out of the competition with each round, whilst the remaining contestants progressed up the ‘steps of glory’ towards the Queen’s Tower.

After just four rounds, the Ladies’ Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Champion, Sonali Campion of Imperial Hub, and Men’s Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Champion, Alan Soltani from the Physics department, emerged from the participants. Sonali and Alan then went head-to-head in a battle to become the first ever Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Champion of Champions.

In a tense final, the skill level was upped to ‘expert’ level – the winner was crowned after not the best-of-one, not the best-of-three, but the best-of-FIVE matches of Rock Paper Scissors’. Sonali and Alan took their stance on the third step up.

Match one. A point to Alan! The crowd cheers! (Well, one of Alan’s friends cheers.) The next match yields a draw. And the next, another draw. And then... SONALLIIIII! The Imperial Hub cohort goes wild and chant “So-na-li, So-na-li!”.

Silence descends across the crowd in preparation for match number five. Alan just clinches it and takes us into a nail biting sixth match. Draw. The tension is prolonged and the handful of remaining spectators still watching fell silent. Another draw. (OK, when will this end?) And then, out of nowhere, match nine... goes to... ALAN! He is triumphant! He basks in the glory! Alan Soltani from the Physics department is the first ever Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Champion! The Imperial Hub team rush to comfort Sonali, who seemed surprisingly unemotional.

Felix managed to get an exclusive interview with Alan just after he’d received his new title. We asked him how it felt to be the first Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Champion. Elated and slightly overwhelmed he said: “It’s an amazing feeling. The final was really tense and for a minute I thought I’d lost. But I pulled through after some great coaching and with mental strength.” As a friend called to him telling him they were late for their next lecture (or something like that) he was heard saying “I can’t talk to you now, I’m a celeb.”

We later spoke to Sonali who told us “I’m still in shock! It started off fairly relaxed but as I climbed the steps it got more and more intense.”

She added, “I was disappointed to miss out on the overall title... but Alan was a worthy winner.” Both Sonali and Alan have secured their place in the National Rock Paper Scissors Championship this Saturday. Sonali has been swatting up on tips and also practicing with friends in the hope that this time she might claim the top prize. Encouragingly, she is yet to be beaten by anyone except her boyfriend. (Awkward?)

The event really was a great success and Sport Imperial should be thanked for arranging the tournament. Neil Mosley, Head of Sport Imperial, told us: “Sport Imperial has always been devoted to enhance students and staff experience at Imperial. We hope this event gives people, especially new students, a different way to meet new people. This is our first Imperial Rock Paper Scissors Championship and, given everyone’s involvement and response today, we think it could become a new tradition at Imperial!” Felix couldn’t agree more, and we can’t wait for the return of the Imperial College London Rock Paper Scissors Championship next year.

(Oh, and in case you were wondering (which you probably weren’t), I came last after losing four consecutive times, which is actually just as probable as winning four times in a row. Therefore technically I am a winner too, right? Right?)