ICHC Mens 2’s Crush Portsmouth

A dark and windy November evening saw the men’s 2s head out to Harlington to take on a formidable Portsmouth 3s. With our captain Jimmy S, out injured due to a broken hand, coaching from the sidelines, ICHC got stuck in straight from the first whistle. To say the first half was a one sided affair would be harsh on Imperial: it was a master class.

Often this season the IC have started slow and given their opposition a chance to establish themselves but right from the off IC found themselves camped deep inside the Portsmouth half. Playing with a narrow midfield, the full backs, B.Man and Meat Spin, were given licence to bomb down both wings delivering ball after ball into the opposition D. The IC centre back, Tinkerbell, found himself playing in his newly invented role of creative defender which saw him camped deep inside the oppositions 25 and entrusting Soggy Biscuit to do any defensive work in his absence.

To try to counteract the IC threat, Portsmouth started to play 11 in defence. With the 25 packed out, it was almost impossible for IC to carve out any sort of shooting opportunity but it did allow the winning of several short corners in quick succession. Cummy B, who on Sunday found his drag flicking range, stepped up confidently but the Portsmouth keeper was equal to the challenge. Following short corner routines lacked the 2s usual cutting edge and several chances went begging.

As half time rapidly approached, IC had nothing to show for their dominance. The 2s were looking for inspiration that even Strap-“Why can I only score wonder goals”-on couldn’t provide. It took a fresher of all people to step up and provide that clinical touch that IC were missing. Good work from the power house that is Old Man Mikey helped to create some space in the oppositions D and, as a bouncing ball found its way into the dangerzone, Fresher Jay-Zed was on hand to rifle the ball home into the roof of the net on the stroke of half time.

The second half saw desperation hit Portsmouth and they changed their system to try to put more pressure on the IC defence. Playing with a high man, they resorted to aerials and big hit and hopes from defence but IC stayed strong and ball after ball was cut out laying the foundation for more IC attacks. Whilst the Portsmouth high men created much more space for IC to play some champagne hockey (despite Fresher Alex not knowing where the side of the pitch was… 3 times…), they also put the IC defence under increased pressure. Despite having had nothing to do for 50 minutes, goalie, Sifter, was called into action with a reflex save at his near post from a rare Portsmouth foray into the IC D.

Soon after IC got the second goal they thoroughly deserved. After peppering the Portsmouth keeper with numerous shots, Fresher Jay-Zed got his second goal of the game after Fresher Mark, Fresher Tim and Wrong Hole combined to give him the easiest of finishes.

Just when IC were looking like they might put 5 or 6 goals away, they went down to 10 men after Old Man Mikey shoulder charged a Portsmouth midfielder in the face. Whilst he protested that it was an accident and he simply slipped (no one believes him but he did make it look rather convincing), the umpire was having none of it and off hewent for a 10 minute cool down in the bin. Portsmouth attempted to seize their opportunity and drive forwards but all they could muster were two penalty corners, one which was useless and the other that was saved by Sifter low to his left.

The final whistle soon followed leaving Fresher Jay-Zed stranded just shy of his hat trick and IC having no regrets but wishing they had translated their dominance into a larger score line and ready to enjoy the Harlington showers. The 2s will be looking to kick on from this dominant display of crisp passing and wondrous stick skills with a busy schedule ahead of them.

Just to clarify, at no point did Brickney scorea goal, but that’s ok because apparently strikers aren’t meant to score.

Is Winning Really Everything?

Maria Parkes

This coming Sunday Imperial College Hockey Club’s men’s 2nd XI have a LUSL cup tie against King’s College London’s 1st XI. Our boys are undoubtedly the underdogs, but even so it was a surprise for our men’s captain to receive the following email from the KCL captain this week:

“…it’s regarding our upcoming LUSL cup fixture with you this Sunday. (As I said to him) it’s hard for this not to come across as presumptuous and arrogant but we played your 1s yesterday and beat them 4-0 with a weakened squad. I really don’t want this to sound boastful as to be honest it was nothing special; I gave our lads a real bollocking at half time and it was only towards the end that we pushed onand put some more past them. However, without wanting to slag off your team, I think in all likelihood the result will go the same way this weekend, especially seeing as we’ll be back to full strength. I hope this isn’t offensive and if you do or don’t agree then give me a shout. Cheers”

Yes, undoubtedly arrogant. But there are two things that strike me about this email a little more than that.

The first is the assumption that we’d rather give in than face a tough challenge. Well you may as well quit your degree right now if that is your attitude, as I can tell you that no course at Imperial is easy. Surely this is the crux of a cup competition; the chance for an upset? And even if we don’t win, as any sports person will attest, there is a great deal of satisfaction in playing a match well, and improving your performance.

My second observation is that this email does not demonstrate good sportsmanship. Sportsmanship is about attitude and at the very least includes respect for your opposition. I’m proud to say our response was a little more dignified, and I think reflects the hockey club’s attitude towards our sport:

“Don’t worry, I don’t take this offensively. If you are asking for a walkover however, then my answer is categorically no. We give everything to the game and love playing it, so regardless of what you may think the result may be, we will compete hard. See you on Sunday.”

So for our men’s 2nd XI, but also for any other Imperial teams out there this weekend in the cold (and probably wet) playing the sports you love, good luck. And remember, the bigger they are, the harder they fall.