Sport

Promotion and port for IC Hockey Ladies 1s after Brunel tussle

Rounding off a successful season for the ladies

Cruella de Vil had better watch out – they’re armed and dangerous (with sticks)
Cruella de Vil had better watch out – they’re armed and dangerous (with sticks)

We arrived at Harlington knowing that a win would secure promotion, so we were ready to f*** s*** up, despite our chunderous captain being MIA. The game started off slowly with half of our team away with the fairies and severely hungover from the previous weekend – we know, it’s an issue.

After a bit of scrappy hockey we settled back into our classic form and Kirstin slotted in a quick two goals to take us ahead at halftime. With a riveting half-time chat from our award winning coach, we started strongly into the second half. Gigi showed the other team what hockey skills were and defenders Celia, Aash and Maria cut shapes through their midfield like Imperial boys in Metric on a Wednesday. With our legendary passing seriously confusing the other team (and with a few protein shakes later) we were many more goals up and showing the Brunel girls who really was top of the league.

The defence held steady with the addition of Shanika taking it up the rear, an unusual position for her as she is usually running riot with Scorcha up front. Harry, Ted, Nora and supersub Hannah all trashed the goalkeeper and took us to a 6-1 lead (their only goal coming from GK Percy’s charitable conscience). Anyways, what it really comes down to is that we won (port), and that we are going to get PROMOTED (PORT!!!).

In summary IC Ladies 1s are amazing – both in looks and talent – and we thoroughly deserved some trophy-ware. Bring on the ULU and BUCS semi-finals.