I am not a hipster – it’s too mainstream

Firstly, let me clarify – I am not a hipster.

I feel compelled to begin with that statement because after reading this article, you may come to the conclusion that I am a hipster. I assure you I am not. You will not catch me wearing an inordinate amount of wool, or styling thick-rimmed glasses in spite of my 20/20 vision, or listening to awful music whose only attraction is that no one has ever heard of it. Indeed, it is my belief that when the final bell tolls and Ragnarok rages across the Earth, I will be locked in a battle to the death with the King of the Hipsters.

I had to start with that caveat because I do not follow the crowd. In most cases of mainstream, I am actively fighting against the current like some free-thinking salmon, or paddling down my own isolated tributary.

I have many examples. Harry Potter, to start with. I’ve read four of the books but only after the glorious ‘new book’ smell has faded from between the covers of a library dustjacket. By this time, revelations like “Snape kills Dumbledore! OMG!” were old news and held no more shock appeal. Oh, spoiler alert, I guess. I’m better with the film, having seen seven out of eight, because I’ve got no problem with watching a good film. Maybe because I wasn’t swept along in the initial wave of hype and hyperbole but I can’t see anything extraordinary about Harry Potter. Good books, yes, but amazing, maybe not.

The same can be said for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, George R. R. Martin and most recently The Hunger Games. Unlike the majority of London Underground commuters, I’ve yet to crack the spine of any of these books. In fairness, this might be due to the infrequency that I use the tube. As long as my bike keeps running, I’m just not exposed to the next must-read book.

This misalignment with the mainstream stems from my childhood... I even resisted Pokémon for a good while

In other areas, I’m a big fan of James Blunt. Though he tends to be a bit on the whiny side, his third album was balanced with much more upbeat songs. I also liked Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (and Temple of Doom for that matter). Aliens can’t be beyond the shark for a series that has the Ark of the Covenant melt a man’s face. That film’s problem is that it has to compete in such a great series without the benefit of rose-tinted spectacles.

This misalignment with the mainstream stems from my childhood, I think. I wasn’t that popular in school and so I instinctively shunned what I thought was popular. I even resisted Pokémon for a good while but there is only so long you can put off becoming a Pokémon master. I like to think I’ve overcome this proto-hipster counter-cultural reflex, but even now the fact that something is being read or watched by everyone is unlikely to endear it de facto to me.

This does tend to isolate me somewhat in social situations – it’s a position I’m more than used to. It means I’m limited to the most rudimentary of questions when my topic of specialist ignorance comes up at parties. More often than not, I excuse myself to the kitchen and try to do some washing up for want of anything better to do. However, the reverse is far more interesting. If the discourse turns to my interests I have to argue harder, with far greater passion, in order to engender curiosity in my audience. I’m proselytising, I know that, but I want people to like the things I like. As I said, I’m no hipster.

Given the sheer volume of must-read books and must-watch TV out there, it’s near-impossible to keep your head above the waters of the mainstream. By the time you’ve finished the trilogy or the box-set, everyone else has moved on and is talking about the next big thing.

In contrast, my stream may be smaller but it has a much gentler current. In it, I can paddle at my own pace. And I repeat, I am not a hipster.