“You are what you eat”: A character criterion or just philosophical bullshit?

From the title, one will probably think that this article is about uninteresting food habits or a nutritionist’s advice and stuff that the majority of people don’t care about. To be honest that could have been my editor’s picture of what I should write but indeed, the theory of relativity suggests that everything is relative, and because we are scientists it’s good to apply it sometimes. Therefore, I am relating eating habits and food preferences with actual human behavior and diversity of characters, with a more specific zoom in on our life here at Imperial. In this college, there are several kinds of people, from different nationalities, studying different courses having different interests and hobbies. All of these factors affect the way we are fed and therefore one can define the kind of one’s personality by using this information. In the following article, I will analyse some of the most distinctive kinds of people here at Imperial, extrapolating from their eating habits.

Let’s begin with the ‘’money spoiler cliché’’. This kind of individual spends more money on food than on accommodation for a flat in Central London, and I do not mean a lot of money on food because of quantity. You might be wondering, how is that possible? Well, it is quite obvious that choosing to eat at expensive, highly valued restaurants for lunch and for dinner on a daily basis, you would probably enjoy delicious meals but this also induces other conclusions. I would personally describe this kind of individual as shallow and a snob. Why is that? The fact that these people do not accept anything that might be cheaper, spend their parents’ money extensively and judge others on the strict rules of savoir vivre says a lot.

On the other hand, a very attractive type is the “intellectual”. Students that belong to this category are those who enjoy cooking their own food, sometimes using sophisticated recipes, and also throw on some music while they cook. If you are an intellectual you will probably feel proud of belonging in this category. Intellectuals are considered to be very interesting people. There is no doubt that if you enjoy cooking, you are passionate not only about cooking but probably about other things as well. This kind of person sees food as a source of inspiration and not just a physical need for nutrition. Therefore, intellectuals can be very approachable and at the same time mature. Maturity comes from the fact that they have taken food seriously and converted its preparation from something that might seem a time wasting need, to an attempt for a perfect creation. The way that intellectuals “treat” their food is similar to the way they experience life in general.

Next eating type: Asian! I personally love delicacies such as sweet and sour or noodles, but from personal experience, I had no idea what my kitchen-mate used to be cooking! Were those gigantic 30cm shrimps or huge insects from the Jurassic age? Were they alive? Each nation has its own food traditions but I can say that Asians have been the most brave in my eyes, including ingredients in their nutrition that I wouldn’t even think of as edible. Many kinds of insects are included on their menu, but I have to acknowledge that they have high nutrition value.

What’s next? The “Cholesterolian’’. The description of this eating type is quite obvious. Cholesterolians simply eat pizza, burgers, fried chicken and all kinds of fast food only, at a regular day to day basis. One thing to note is that a Cholesterolian’s excuse for this is the fact that there is no time to cook. WHAT? SERIOUSLY? My dear Cholesterolians, feeding yourself is not something that just appears on your schedule to waste your time, it’s something you do for your own good!

We are now moving to a very common eating type at Imperial. This paragraph describes the “Sandwich Nerd’’. In my mind’s dictionary, the Sandwich Nerd only eats sandwiches from the Central Library or JCR day and night as he or she literally studies all the time. Why all the time? People of this category may be buried under the illusion that if they don’t study enough in order to get an A or A*, they are Imperial failures. As you might probably know, some of the Sandwich Nerds actually live in the Central Library (but they still pay rent for a flat!). It’s a pity, isn’t it? Sandwich Nerds may like and actually be good at other things like music, sports or dancing and be talented but put them aside as “there is no time for those’’. Therefore, they are most of times unhappy and complain about Imperial life. I would describe this attitude as ironic. Why complain about Imperial life while it is your own responsibility to find the correct balance of curricular and extracurricular activities that makes you happy? After all, getting a 2:1 will definitely not ruin your future career. What’s more tragic, is the fact that Sandwich Nerds have no idea that they are drowning in the sea of pointless academic success.

Contrary to the last two eating types, the next eating type appears to be the one I would like to be. I call this type the “Lucky One’’. Being a Lucky One implies that you have your friends cooking for you all the time! How great is that? It is like an Imperial “mum version’’, with the friends being your flat mates, friends that live in your hall, a boyfriend, a girlfriend or just a friend with benefits. The Lucky One most probably has no idea of cooking, which is a reasonable conclusion as he or she never cooks. There is one major advantage and one major drawback about the Lucky One. The negative side is that if a person doesn’t know how to cook, then that person can’t survive alone (unless eating ready meals from supermarkets). I believe this fact can describe the Lucky One as a slightly immature person or not yet an adult to be fair. On the other hand the positive thing about the Lucky One is that is a very approachable person. A Lucky One has many friends, or at least he or she has some very good friends. Why? Who is cooking for the Lucky One? FRIENDS! Now if I try to do some chemistry here, adding the approachability with the immaturity, we have a person who is very sensitive!

Got tired reading this? WAIT! We’re not there just yet! I can’t say I saved the best for the end but “the Mummy’s Kid’’ is an eating type that deserves to be mentioned. “The Mummy’s Kid’’ is of course the student that when returning from vacation, fills the freezer with tons of homemade food, cooked with extensive care by his or her loving mom. The supplies include all the kinds of food that the Mummy’s Kid wouldn’t dare to cook and taste deliciously great. If Mummy’s Kids leave in hall they probably occupy the whole freezer themselves (yep, a lot of stuff!). I remember a floor mate asking me last year while I was unpacking the “goods’’ (yes I’m one of those): “Renos! Mother Karamanis must have spent days of cooking!’’ Well she did, she still does, but let’s move on to discover some of the characteristics of these eating type. Furthermore, the fact that Mummy’s Kids store food that can last for a long time, means that they think about the future, hence a Mummy’s Kid might be always prepared on anything, thinking two steps forward each time (that’s all hypothetical). It would be undeniable to also claim that Mummy’s Kids are most of times guys that have the greatest love for their moms. This great love, combined with the fact that they sometimes share their food supplies with others, suggests people who are approachable and sociable, which earns them lots of friends. The obvious thing to notice though, that always happens, is that “Mummy’s Kids’’ convert to any other eating type mentioned before, as soon as the supplies run out.

Summarizing, we have gone through seven eating types in enough detail for you to start spotting yourself into one of those. What eating type are you? You can’t find yourself into one of those? You may be a combination of eating types. The complexity of everyday life here at Imperial makes us synoptic, which may be described as a new eating type. Is what you eat a character criterion though? Or is it just philosophical bullshit? It depends on how someone understands the article. You can reach to your own conclusion depending on the way you think. For me, the eating type is a character criterion. I wouldn’t write the article if did not believe so. For others it could be just bullshit someone had the idea and pleasure to write about in Felix. My tip is that if you have reached this paragraph reading the whole article, you clearly believe it is an actual character criterion. If you still read the whole article but still believe it’s bullshit, then there is clear evidence that you prefer wasting your time reading bullshit in newspapers.