Squash’s day out with the Pros

Rich people tend to lavish their money on fast cars, helicopters and yachts. Portable glass squash courts, though, are surely the ultimate display of status and wealth. The court can be assembled at the drop of a hat (well… within three weeks) at whatever location the owner fancies. Which means that he can perfect his backhand on palm tree-lined beaches, practise his reverse-drive on top of the Sydney Opera House, and delight the crowds in St. Peter’s Square…

But wait. Imperial’s three squash courts are neither glass nor portable, so how is it that I know about, and indeed dream of, portable glass squash courts? Well simply because I’ve seen one. The ATCO PSA World Squash Finals 2013 were played on one of these unusual, transparent, spectator courts, assembled at the elite Queen’s Club in South West London. A handful of members of Imperial College’s own squash club, led by Jackie Ho, were lucky enough to witness an evening of incomparable entertainment. Tennis fans who tire of watching their compatriots losing at early stages should certainly consider defecting to squash. No fewer than 3 out of 8 men’s contestants, including the World Numbers 1 and 2, were English and in the ladies’ draw there was an all English semi-final; as a nation, we are a very good at squash. As are Egypt, who had the most players in the draw, and whose charismatic Amr Shabana walked off with the men’s title.

The standard of squash was, needless to say, fantastic. The ladies’ number 1, Malaysian Nicol David, floated across the court in a beautiful white dress disposing of her opponent with grace and ease. The men’s games were fought with speed, determination and a touch of drama – part of Nick Matthew’s handle fell off his racket mid-point and all the players were at some point discontented with an umpire’s decision. These human machines were exerting themselves to the limits and consequently, the court floor had to be mopped at regular intervals because it was so sweaty.

I think all spectators who attended this brilliant event will agree with me on the following two points: a) watching squash can be even more draining than playing and you must remember to breathe, especially during long rallys. b) squash thoroughly deserves to become an Olympic sport. Not only does it require energy, skill, stamina and inspiration but it is also an exhilarating game to watch. And it should bring Britain both medals and glory. Here’s to the Olympic Committee coming to their senses in time for 2020!