Imperial Thump RUMS in Shenley

ICUAFC 5’s set off on the long trip to North London on Saturday for a matchup against London rivals RUMS 3’s. The team’s arrival at Shenley was excitedly received by veteran footballer and long-time IC 5’s fan Gianfranco Zola. Unfortunately captain Clarke couldn’t fit him into the team in place of the technically superior Deasy, and he was forced to watch from the stands. A distinctly non-cagey first 10 minutes saw IC getting in behind the RUMS full backs and creating a whole host of chances. A lack of clinical finishing had already caused the 5’s downfall in previous games, and nerves began to show as RUMS started to get into the match. With 25 minutes gone, Nicholls flashed a header across the face of goal from a wicked Aguilera in-swinging corner – showing the world that her left foot is miles better than her vocal ability. Minutes later another set piece delivery from Aguilera dropped to Deasy 6 yards out, who fiercely struck the ball towards goal. Unfortunately for him, full back Krol was too busy applying fake tan and considering his latest modelling contract to get out of the way, duly blocking it on the goal line. The loose ball was cleared to the edge of the box where Clarke was lurking to rifle it into the top left hand corner. Despite the 1-0 advantage IC took into the half time break, the team were insistent that the score line was still 0-0. Yet it wasn’t long before a Nicholls free kick sent to the back stick was nodded across goal by Clarke and, after pinball in the 6 yard box, tucked past the keeper by late call up Stilwell. Stilwell then turned provider for IC’s third, sending a corner high and long where Rowley gambled marvellously at the back stick to fizz home a classy finish on the volley. After his goal line block earlier in the game, Krol had the chance to redeem himself as the ball fell to him a yard out from another menacing corner. Getting his shoulders back and lifting his head are two things that might look good on camera, but neither of them helped him here as he blazed the ball well over the bar when it was probably easier to score. A brief scare followed this as Klottka and Yeoh’s offside trap was broken for the first time by the RUMS centre forward. Having not seen the ball all game, however, his touch was rustier than Grant Holt’s treadmill, and the onrushing Haas-Heger efficiently dealt with the danger. Minutes later, another hopeful long ball was cleared again by the German keeper, only for him to collide with the RUMS number 9. Unlike in recent history, it was the German who came out on top as he continued to play on, despite being out by a factor of 4 when asked how many fingers he could see in front of him. The centre forward whose elbow he had aggressively head-butted bizarrely limped off the field despite no clear damage to either leg, and with no remaining substitutes RUMS were forced to play on with 10 men. It wasn’t long before their distinct lack of footballing ability was made even more apparent by the missing player, but the ferocious Sang Woo wasn’t happy with just the one man advantage as he looked to stamp his impact on the game. Eventually good interplay down the right hand side from the tireless Han and man of the match Aguilera led to substitute Petersen bearing down on goal and slotting the ball home to seal the result. After such a comprehensive and efficient victory, not even the lack of post-match treat could dampen the spirits of the players as they returned, triumphant, to West London.

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