Memoir mash-up

I am currently looking through Audible.co.uk. This is the Amazon sister-company dedicated to providing audiobooks to the poor souls, such as myself, that have countless hours of free mental time, and a bank card. But, why do I have all this time? Since starting work at the Centre for Functional Ecology in Montpellier, France, my life has been dedicated to saving Alpine forests from climate change. This has mostly involved weighing hundreds of plant samples, a sciency way of saying leaves. This is a repetitive process that leaves my mind free to wonder and I am not complaining: I study ecology! The task is long and time consuming, but to be honest, it’s not even the first time I have weighed leaves. I am a pro leaf-weigher.

So here I am, literally scavenging through the comedy section of the site, looking for something worth spending my bonus point on (yes, I do have a monthly membership, ok! It’s a bit of an addiction at this point). The internship has given me countless competences, some applicable to my CV, and others not so much so. A large knowledge of celebrity memoirs is definitely one of the latter… Even so, I am finishing all this fun weighing now, so maybe it’s also time to sum up something about what I listened to, loved, hated. Here is a short guide to some celebrity biographies that you will have seen on chat shows, book columns and tube adverts, from someone who has read (well, listened to) a great deal of them. If you don’t have all this time at your disposal (and let’s face it, you’re an Imperialite so you don’t), I hope this helps you take your pick next time you browse through that bestselling list.

Let’s start from the number one bestseller. Miranda Hart’s funny face has been glooming from every book pile, every underground tunnel and the Graham Norton show since the publication of her Is It Just Me?; a book that asks if she alone is incapable of dealing with the daily complications of modern life. In truth, the answer is yes. Each one of us has embarrassing anecdotes to tell at a dinner table, but Miranda has lived through all of our worse stories, and has some nightmarish ones of her own to tell. Read if you enjoy slapstick comedy and are a fan of the lovely comedienne.

Slightly less recent, but equally, thrown at us in every sauce, Stephen Fry’s The Fry Chronicles narrates the second chunk of the author’s jam-packed life in his soothing style. A suggestion: avoid reading this if you still take rejection from Oxbridge to heart. Fry describes Cambridge as a mystical place, full of ancient walls of knowledge and masonic jargon, and you will only find it painful. Having said this, Fry is so charming, that he makes even jail sound like and appealing place to visit (yes, Stephen Fry has been to jail).

David Mitchell’s autobiography Back Story, another of the morning show favourites (not that students ever get to watch morning shows), is a witty journey through London and his life. Starting from Kilburn, the book travels in space rather than time up to BBC House (the big one near Westfields). Satisfyingly, the recollection ends on a very positive note (spoiler alert, if you’ve not turned the TV on in the last couple of years): his relationship with Victoria Coren. I admit I am a fan of Peep Show and the Mitchell/Webb combo, and although I feel no comedian better represents Britain’s darker, slightly wingey side than David Mitchell, it was lovely to see him shrivel up with delight while describing his now wife.

Although not technically an autobiography, Caitlin Moran’s How To Be a Woman narrates her life and quest to learn how to behave like a proper adult female. Whether you are into her feminist stance or not (and not-so-big revelation moment, I am), this is a truly funny book that will make all girls go “Hey I’ve done that!” and most of them say “Thank God someone warned my about that!” (large family and hippy parents: Moran’s womanhood has been one of trial and error). The recently published Moranthology is also ok, but to avoid if you follow Moran’s career on The Times as it is essentially a glossy file for all her articles.

For the science fans, actually, for the lovers of mankind and all things nice, David Attenborough’s Life on Air is a feast for the brain. It is inspiring in the right sort of non-corny way, and incredibly entertaining. From his funny anecdotes about rat-infested temples, to the description of ground-breaking filming techniques, Attenborough is as good on paper as he is on film. Unsurprisingly majestic.

The choice about the ultimate life story to recommend was a hard one. David Attenborough is biology royalty, and although it pains me to write this, I have chosen laughter over royalty. For Michael McIntyre’s Life and Laughing does exactly what it says on the cover. I know comedy hipsters resent McIntyre for going mainstream, but there is nothing to say: he is as successful as he is clever. McIntyre’s hilarious childhood is a funnier version of all our family pasts, even with his eccentric Hungarian nan, his bombshell mother and his Canadian father, producer of the slightly creepy hit song ‘Grandad’. As the years go by, the comedy becomes serious business and when McIntyre describes his breakthrough gig, and the emotion of sharing it with the one-and-only love of his life and his two kids, my eyes dampened a bit. This is an autobiography that deserves to be listened to: his rendition of ‘God Save the Queen’, during a recollection of a particularly embarrassing family anecdote, made my mother almost crash the car she was driving (my Christmas present to her, the book not the car). If you still can’t forgive me for picking Michael McIntyre over David Attenborough, don’t waste any more time and go buy Life on Air, in fact, I will be happy to lend anyone of you my copy, as I hope you will enjoy all these reads as much as I did.