Sport

Feel the power, with Dartsity

Onnnnneeee hundred and eiiiighttttyyyy. Wasn't uttered.

ICSM Darts Society is the only Imperial Club dedicated to the sport. Shocking right? We consider it a sport. Not just prime man boob jiggle time or a pint of beer resting on a beer belly time – darts is a game of skill, contrary to stereotypes. We usually play in a Monday night league SKADL (South Ken Academic Darts League) which started out as a competition between Imperial halls, but now includes a lot of previous students, and other universities around London. Other teams include the Holland Club, which has had to find an alternative venue since the club shut over the Christmas period.

The first ever Dartsity, an epic clash between the few IC members of the medic darts society and the medics took place at the Reynolds bar this Monday night. After every member of the medic team was late, the order of play was decided by the weekly Parkour challenge. For IC the Joker put in a strong performance walking out of the building on his hands. Female 1 borrowed Female 4 and Crim Dog to perform a triple bridge, but unfortunately wasn’t enough to beat IC. In the first game which was 6 V 6, IC started by pulling out quite a lead. However after a later admitted unlawful subtraction of 100 points from the medic’s score, they took the first game. Not feeling downhearted, the next game went much better for IC with the Joker, Spitroast and female 4 taking the game. In the next game Crim Dog and Computing Chris were unlucky, losing narrowly to Patches and 62.

With pressure mounting, the first Singles match was Spitroast against Patches. The two quality Imperial dart players seemed evenly matched, until Spitroasthit a massive 114, and checked out shortly after with Patches trailing behind. Maybe if he had lived up to his name that night, he could have caused a big enough distraction.

Second up in the singles for IC was Crim Dog, who was having trouble standing up by this point, and several times managed to not hit the board with any of the 3 darts. Although when people weren’t ducking she managed to hit some pretty impressive scores, she failed to finish, and that game went to ICSM, leaving them winning 3-2 overall. After a short interval of Crim Dog stroking Spitroast’s soft hair, IC made a comeback. Chris and The Joker both made convincing wins to put IC 4-3 ahead. Unfortunately when female 4 met 62 in the next match, no amount of buttons popping open on her shirt let the match swing her way.

With 1 game left at a 4 – 4 draw it was all to play for. As Coney unfortunately had no darts and was at that time inanimate, Computing Chris took on the Captain of ICSM. Computing Chris stormed ahead, but Brunt wasn’t far behind. In an epic battle to the finish, Computing Chris claimed the title for IC, taking out a massive double 4 checkout.

To console his defeat, Brunt then decided to piss off the absent IC Alumni by snogging his cousin Crim Dog. See our Twitter, @icsmdaaaarts if you are disturbed enough to want to see pictures. Despite being cheating scum, ICSM darts still managed to lose both the match and their dignity by being beaten by the better part of their own team, IC.

Most people won’t give darts a go because they think they will do badly – some of the performances of Varsity show it really doesn’t matter. If you are thinking about givingit a go, just look us up on the Union website.

From Issue 1544

15th Mar 2013

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