Blood, sweat and hotpants in Metric

Pole is one of the hottest fitness trends in the country, combining ballet and gymnastics to create routines as physically impressive as they are sexy. Don’t let the hotpants fool you – the Pole Soc girls (and guys!) routinely bust out human flags and the exposed skin is used for grip.

Anyone walking into Metric last Thursday night would have been met by an unusual sight as the society turned the nightclub into a pole studio in preparation for their summer showcase. The lineup included three routines written by the Pole Soc Committee, as well as having poles on hand to let attendees give it a go. The night started off well with a good turnout and the drinks flowing as the performers warmed up – three girls and one man down to their short shorts in Metric.

The first performance kicked off at 9 with Jessica Haddon and Annabel Keeler strutting their stuff in a rechoreographed version of the society routine from the ICSM fashion show earlier this year. The routine ran seamlessly with the two girls performing on just one pole alternating strength moves with careful, elegant dance and choreography, with a small slip-up at the end was betrayed only by the girls being unable to contain their laughter. This was followed at 9.30 by a synchronised routine by Jessica and Esther Berry, this year’s President.

The final routine of the night saw Esther performing opposite her presidential replacement and the only male member of the society, Maths fresher Ben Howitt. The routine started well, with graceful dance moves from Esther and an impressive show of strength from Ben that left all the men in the room green with envy. However, as they progressed through the fast-paced routine into their double superman – a move in which both dancers lay flat in the classic ‘superman’ pose, supporting their weight between their legs – the worst thing possible happened. The pole collapsed. Ben, who was around 2.5m from the ground at the time, saw the top coming away from the ceiling and leaped to safety. The pole then came away completely, smashing into a lighting cage which slowed its fall, before coming crashing down onto the stage. This saved it from landing squarely on Esther, who was 1.5m up. She hit the ground directly underneath the fallen pole.

As a stunned silence resounded around the room, the Union Stewards and Committee sprang into action. Thankfully the two performers had escaped merely bruised and shocked, and they decided to finish what they had started. According to one, “if we hadn’t powered through, I think I’d have had real trouble getting back on a pole again. You tell yourself it will never happen, and when it does … it was terrifying”. It was decided to complete the routine upstairs in their usual practice room of the Union Gym. Almost the entire audience turned out to see the explosive routine finished off, giving a great end to an eventful evening. Some spectators even said they felt the performance upstairs was better, as they could see the moves more clearly, as well as appreciating the more extreme aspects of the sport!

The issue was Metric itself; the seemingly solid steel girder in the ceiling the pole was attached to had become slick with that particular Metric grime and condensed sweat causing the pole to slip off. Perhaps nightclubs are not the best place for pole dancing after all.