Incredibly Magical iOS 7

Apple fans worldwide rejoiced as detractors grieved a couple of weeks ago at the WWDC event when CEO Tim Cook unveiled yet another incredible update to the beautiful and gorgeous iOS 7, the latest iteration of Apple’s superior and world’s most advanced mobile operating system. It is chock full of innovation that is just simply amazing.

The greatest and most profound change to iOS 7 is the whole new epicly redesigned and beautiful interface. After years of perfecting the incredible art of skeuomorphism, Apple once again has delighted us with the phenomenal redesign that is incredibly gorgeous and just amazing. Apple is once again leading the industry through its magical innovation. Critics will lambast Apple as simply conforming to trends of minimalism but this is not so – simplicity is often equated with minimalism, yet true simplicity is so much more than that. Simplicity is about making things “just work”. iOS 7 is a pure representation of simplicity.

Apple iOS 7 also has a whole host of new, epic features that has never been seen in any other operating systems. A new control centre that is one swipe away brings access to common tasks like toggling on and off WiFi and controlling music playback in a simple and gorgeous manner that just works. The incredible notification centrehas also become more powerful by displaying more relevant information in a gorgeous way.

Multi-tasking has been revamped with a new, incredible, and beautiful card-based interface. Camera-aficionados can now add special magical effects to the pictures they take with a new gorgeous camera interface. Apps can also update themselvesautomatically in what Apple insisted was a new feature, rather than a bug fix. These represent a mere tip of the iceberg for all the epic and fantastic changes in iOS 7.

Apple also took the time to deride its competition. It, rightfully, compared its superior position in terms of getting the latest version of the OS to consumers when compared with Android. Its magical formula is simply the incredible lack of fragmentation. Apple also expects to launch multiple lawsuits against companies that have copied its redesign in the near future, especially Microsoft for the Windows Phone series.

All of these new features in iOS 7 make it a super fast, super clean, super beautiful, super gorgeous, and super incredible new version of the world’smost advanced mobile operating system. It is no wonder that Phil Schiller so adamantly and indignantly derided critics with the line “can’t innovate anymore, [his] ass”. He is right. Apple will continue to live long and prosper.

Some or all of this may be parody...