Opinion

Confessions of a GTA: Part Seven

A new and slightly more awkward year

Awkward moments in a GTA’s life come pretty thick and fast. I had hoped to start a new term off well, but 3 months of GTA experience had taught me better. I have several times marked something as completely wrong only to realise five minutes later it is a perfect solution and had to cross out all my notes. I have also had to start calling my lecturers by their first names, which is not only weird and wrong, but also impossible with people who the other staff refer to as Professor. Yet still they insist. Most awfully I’ve had to rebound chat up lines from students. With the MScs and their older wiser ways this is only vaguely embarrassing but by undergrads, who look to me about 12, it is just awful and not cute as my sister determined in her wails of unfeeling laughter.

But today did not get off to a good start. I was invigilating an extra time exam which had just one student in it. These are the best GTA jobs (apart from the fieldtrips) as you can stay the whole way through the exams, which can be over 4 hours (good cash times after a rather indulgent Christmas). You can also take in your own work. Thus, you have 4 hours of time alone with your work, with no emails or people or funding proposals, and you get paid for it.

This sounds pretty ideal until your stomach starts rumbling. Very, very loudly. Now this is awkward on any occasion. I still remember a particular primary school teacher whose stomach would always kick off at around 12pm, but in a tiny silent room with only one other unknown person who is trying their hardest not to fail an exam. Seriously!!! And it just went on and on and on, sounding quite a lot like a cat singing the song of its people.

I think the worst thing about it was there was nothing I could do. With corrections there is tipp-ex, with lecturers you can go as long as possible without calling them anything, and with students you can make it quite clear you are looking for someone who is rich enough to pay for the rest of your academic career. Here, I was helpless.

So apologies to you. I hope the exam went ok. Thus my confession this week can only be that even GTA’s bodies let them down more often than they would like to admit.

From Issue 1564

17th Jan 2014

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