‘Tis the season for stand-up comedy DVDs

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, the goose is getting fat. In other words, though you may not know, not having ventured outside South Kensington since the second week of October, Santa is here!

And what better way to spend your December money, freshly arrived from your parents, on presents for the people you love, including the aforementioned? Luckily for the uncreative, bored, lazy present buyers amongst us (and that pretty much accounts for most of the student populace, excluding that girl from halls who bakes cupcakes on Saturday night and does separate washes for colours and delicates) stand-up comedians come to the rescue.

This may be because they realise that Christmas is the only time of year they stand a chance of selling a DVD as opposed to everyone streaming their shows in neat 10-minute parts on YouTube. Nevertheless, these really make a good present. And in addition are all easily bulk-bought from Amazon: just as long as you remember to do it a couple of weeks before Christmas and have it delivered to your London address before going home.

For a father and bread-winner of the family, I would recommend Al Murray’s new _One Man, One Guvnor _DVD, off The Pub Landlord series. This comedy man may be slightly politically incorrect towards women, men, children, but he is also a surprisingly lovable character, much like everyone’s old Pops. This year’s effort is not as valiant as 2012’s The Only Way is Epic, but it’s guaranteed the same amount of laughs around the tree.

For your favourite brother, Russell Howard has returned to theatres after the hiatus to focus on his news show Good News, with a brilliant show. _Wonderbox _is a compendium of what makes Howard one of Britain’s favourite comedians. He is as sharp as he is naïve.

His observations, sometimes cruel sometimes innocent, will really speak to the lover of fart jokes inside us, but also to the more serious part of the family. He is the quintessential good boy that my grandmother would love but I could still bear to spend time with.

For your less favourite brother, or the friend from home who you hate but somehow haven’t yet disappeared from your lives, I suggest Jack Whitehall’s Gets Around. For the particularly annoying humoured soul, Whitehall is perfect, with his unsubtle jokes about Jaeger Bombs and his unhealthy obsession about his father. I realise Whitehall is quite successful, which is why he features in the list, but personally I wouldn’t bother unless the present is presented with misery and resentment.

Your sister will probably enjoy Sarah Millican’s Home Bird. See what I did there? That’s not in any way because Millican is a woman and so only women can appreciate her humour. Millican is someone who everyone can enjoy, approachable, affable and not as aggressive as many other comedians, she tricks you into a sense of calm like only your favourite aunt can, and then says something filthy that knocks you off the sofa. This new DVD is as good as her previous ones, if not better, and really needs to be shared.

Finally, for your mother, and this is only because out of the whole list of 2014 Christmas releases, this was the one that would make me cringe the least if I had to watch it in the same room as her, Jon Richardson’s Nidiot.

Richardson personally delivers my favourite joke of the season, as well as making me feel less disappointed with myself about never having been on a drinking holiday to Ibiza. Personally one of my favourite efforts this Christmas.

On second thoughts, there’s a joke about masturbating under a tree. Be aware of this and maybe buy your mother the last _Downton Abbey _(and then escape from the house if she decides to watch it).