Crime has a new enemy

Robocop

Director: José Padilha

Writer: Joshua Zetumer

Starring: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley

Runtime: 118 minutes

Certification: 12A

Rating: 4/5

The original Robocop was – is – an undisputed classic, a masterpiece, quite possibly the best film to come out of the ‘80s, and other such insanely excessive superlatives (but trust me, it really is that good), and if you dispute any of that… well… you’re wrong. So there. Moving on from the childish point making, the seemingly endless remake/reboot train that Hollywood has a first class season ticket for has finally rolled up to Robocop station (to continue the metaphor), and a new director and a ridiculously big-name cast have all climbed aboard.

Initially, Robocop treads similar territory to its predecessor, albeit with a slightly different target for its satire, with Samuel L. Jackson’s right-wing TV show host chewing every single inch of his green-screen scenery as he goes off on one about America being “robophobic” and why robots are awesome and so on and such like (cue action sequence of robots being… not awesome?). It’s a neat enough way of setting up the main plot thrusts, but it quickly becomes clear that Robocop isn’t going to be the biting satire the original was, instead using the ideas (along with a bigger emphasis on free will) as the springboard for some sweet-as action scenes.

Of course, this does mean the film relies heavily on the characters to keep you interested between the big fights, and it’s an unfortunately hit-and-miss selection. Michael Keaton and Gary Oldman offer the best performances – Keaton’s single-minded executive quite possibly steals the show, while Oldman’s doctor gives the ‘free will’ theme some much needed heart – although of everyone only Samuel L Jackson truly feels like he got the memo about this not being 100% super-serious. Because it’s not. Everyone just seems to think it is. Several of the big names get totally shafted by their roles – Jay Baruchel and Jennifer Ehle can have their roles summed up as “wise-cracking marketing exec who isn’t as funny as he thinks he is” and “legal woman” respectively, with their names being absolutely irrelevant, while Abbie Cornish’s job as Clara Murphy is to… to… cry? And look pretty? Which leads us nicely on to the star of the show: Alex Murphy, this time being played by Joel Kinnaman. Where to start? The beginning seems logical, so here goes: Murphy this time round is a dick. Whereas in the original he was a great cop, friendly, competent, all that, here he’s the (now) stereotypical driven asshole who doesn’t play by the rules, blah blah blah, etc, etc. Liking Murphy is kind of critical to the concept of liking Robocop, and at the start it’s incredibly hard to. Sure, he’s a good cop, he’s a good father/husband and all that, but he’s just a bit of a jerk and it feels like the writers went too far down the ‘gritty’ route (have you seen the first film? Last thing it needs is more grit).

So far, so mediocre. Some mildly shonky CGI on running Robocop (and if it’s not CGI… what did they do?) fails to further the ‘this doesn’t totally suck!’ case, but then… the action scenes. This may be a 12A (and so somewhat brutally neutered in the violence stakes – compared to the original’s well-deserved 18/reputation as one of the bloodiest films around), but boy does director José Padilha nail the action scenes. Dodging and weaving around the 12 rating (one character gets left to die in his own grenade explosion, Robocop takes inspiration from 127 Hours, the blood sprays take their cues from _The Hunger Games _and appear for as long as they can before the BBFC orders them cut down, and many, many more instances), the snappy editing and quick camera movements mean that, if nothing else, Robocop engages on a purely visceral level. And at that level, it’s actually really good.

Throw in almost every reference to the original you can think of, from the strains of the main theme to Robocop’s immortal “dead or alive, you’re coming with me” (I’m not ashamed to admit I emitted a high-pitched noise at that point), sprinkle liberally with some mostly rather-good CGI (ED-209 looks even better than before, although I’d still argue the original model felt more genuinely terrifying), and you’ve got a remake that’s actually not terrible. Which is kind of a back-handed compliment, and if I’m honest it feels a little unfair. Inevitably, Robocop has to be held up against its predecessor, and that’s a fight it was never going to win. But taken on its own terms, or with an open mind, it’s actually a really enjoyable, highly entertaining action flick that deals with some important questions. So, with that in mind, your move, creep.