The worst movies of 2014 so far - The Legend of Hercules

The Legend of Hercules

Director: Renny Harlin

Writers: Sean Hood, Daniel Giat, Renny Harlin, Giulio Steve

Starring: Kellan Lutz, Gaia Weiss, Scott Adkins, Roxanne McKee

Runtime: 99 minutes

Certification: 12A

Rating: 1/5

The second film this year starring Kellan Lutz, trying to launch him as a credible leading man in Hollywood, although so far neither have done him any favours. Both are tanking in terms of making money, as well as failing to attract any kind of praise.

A fair share of the blame does rest with Lutz himself. In Tarzan he did the most boring voiceover work imaginable, and here, playing Hercules, he may have the physical attributes to convincingly play a Greek hero, but when he is not busy swinging his sword, hacking down his enemies, he is required to talk and connect with those around him. Most importantly he needs to form a romatic relationship with Hebe (Gaia Weiss). The film’s rock-bottom moment is when the two characters connect, in the most ridiculous 12A sex scene in which a whole load of white sheets is thrown at the camera very slowly and suggestively that induce laughs more than anything else.

The plot goes something like this: Hercules falls for the wrong woman, the woman who was chosen for his half-brother, and so he is sent off by his enraged father (Scott Adkins) to a mission that will certainly result in death. He survives however, and is sold into slavery, where he is able to flaunt his skills and body to an eye-wateringly badly designed CGI fighting arenas filled with fake people. He slowly makes his way back to Greece, where he is finally able to reunite with the love of his life, which the audience is never sold on, because the two have absolutely no chemistry whatsoever.

Perhaps it’s Lutz trying to focus on getting his dodgy English accent right. But whatever that comes out of his mouth is wooden and lacks conviction/passion. It sounds like a lazy dubbing work from a foreign actor. Nevertheless he excels in the film’s very sparse action sequences, ones that are not too imaginatively choreographed, which is disappointing, given how those alone could have been the film’s saving grace. But we have had good sword-and-sandal epics in the past. Even this year’s _Pompeii _(which is still pretty bad, by the way), had the volcanic eruption to show off even if it couldn’t impress in its first half or so. But _The Legend of Hercules _never succeeds in giving a satisfactory dose of action. There is a particularly underwhelming scene in which Hercules makes his comeback to reclaim what is rightfully his. What was supposed to be a roaring return turns out to be nothing more than a brief flash of special effects that disappointingly wraps everything up in a quick, effortless shot.

If a film is so overloaded with some cool, refreshing action, it can still be sold as mindless entertainment, one that does not require good acting, or even a coherent story. _The Legend of Hercules’ _pursuit and goal in taking itself far too seriously clearly back-fired here, as this passes neither as a serious character study of Hercules, nor can this be seen as an action-packed vehicle.

Of the supporting actors, everyone passes adequately, especially when standing next to an incompetent leading man. Scott Adkins spends the entirety of the running time looking angry, shouting things at his wife for having hot thundery rainy invisible sex with Zeus; Liam Garrigan is passable as the creepy staring half-brother who is jealous of Hercules and his ability to seduce women, and Liam McIntyre, who is no stranger to genres like this, having been a part of Starz television series _Spartacus: War of the Damned, _chips in as Hercules’ companion.

There is another Hercules film about to be released, this time starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. The Rock has had a better career in the film industry than what Lutz has managed so far, so perhaps _Hercules, _will fare better. Maximus Decimus Meridius, aka Russell Crowe, once famously asked “are you not entertained?”, in a film that will forever be the subject of comparison when talking about films set in the ancient times. And with _The Legend of Hercules, _the answer is no, we are most definitely not.