Feminism isn’t just for girls

While my usual pieces have a satirical take on pop culture, this week, I thought it was about time my graduate anger is channelled towards an issue that actually has some weight. From the recent uproar regarding VAT on sanitary products, to men, mental health and suicide, you must have been living in a pineapple under the sea to be oblivious to the media frenzy surrounding gender equality lately.

I’ve had countless conversations with my friends about feminism, and I’ve been struck by some serious misunderstandings of what feminism is. And I want to clarify this: it wasn’t just my male friends who seemed misinformed.

I’m fully aware that I’m not an expert on the issue, and I’m far from what one would call an ideal advocate for gender equality. Yet, it’s an issue that, I believe, needs more publicity, more support, and most importantly, clarification on what it stands for.

Every movement that exists has barbaric fanatics

First things first. I am a feminist, and I am proud to say so. This however, does not mean I host head-shaving parties in my garden, complete with a burning bin in the centre, which myself and other feminists gallop around, flailing our bras like lassos, chanting man-hating Sanskrit mantras and engaging in voodoo on Ken dolls. Since when has being a feminist also meant that you’re a radical?

Some women would rather have daily bikini waxes than associate themselves with feminism, not because they are non-believers in gender equality, but rather they’re afraid of the connotations associated with the title.

Pretty much every type of movement that exists has some barbaric fanatics, and feminism is no exception; man-haters are out there, and I acknowledge this. But these individuals are a far cry from what feminism represents. The movement represents a fight for equality, and last time I checked, the notion of equality wasn’t a radical one.

For the record, feminism is not synonymous with man hating. It is not about fighting for a matriarchy. It is not a thinly veiled attack on men, in order to undermine and suppress them in society. Rather, it’s a movement with re-thinking gender roles at the forefront of its aims, for both men and women.

Regarding women, the issues that demonstrate that we need feminism are endless. I obviously will not touch on everything, but a couple of issues really peeve me. As I’ve mentioned, we’re taxed for having something that closely resembles a murder scene in our pants once a month. Apparently cleaning up a bleeding vag is a luxury these days. Combined this with the searing back and stomach cramps, my, aren’t we ruddy pampered!

Let’s not forget issues with our personalities too; my drive, motivation and determination are actually “bossy,” and “intimidating.” Hell, we can see this in action at Imperial itself, which houses a load of successful female scientists and professors. I’ve heard these women talked about as “controlling, short-tempered,” and when they’re a tad blunt with their orders, “she must be on the blob.” Their male counterparts however, well, they’re driven, changing the game, and a role model to look up to.

What the hell is this all about? I, myself, am guilty in perceiving women like this, which is pretty disgusting. There’s no point in motivating more young girls to get into STEM subjects, if when they get there, their authority is belittled. I don’t know how we’re going to go about changing this and I cannot offer any ground-breaking solutions. But I guess recognition of our biases is a great way to start – next time you deem a girl bossy, think whether you’d call a dude the same thing.

But why do we need to re-think gender roles for men? Men seem to have it easier compared to women, right? They generally hold greater positions of power, earn more, and aren’t thought to be suppressed in society. Patriarchy is pretty neat for you guys isn’t it?

From young boys shamed for being weak and expressing emotion, to grown men, expected to be the provider and emotional rock for their families, patriarchy imposes ridiculous pressures on men of all ages to conform to its ludicrous order.

I’ve seen young men – my friends – suffering from mental illnesses, unable to express their emotions and robbed of their right to be sensitive, in fear of being perceived as less manly, or God forbid, a girl.

In fact, suicide is the biggest killer of men between the ages of 20 and 49, eclipsing cancer, road accidents and coronary heart disease. Yet, literature shows that women suffer more from depression. But it’s not un-womanly to seek help, and it’s not un-womanly to cry. The infatuation with being macho, the obsession with the stiff upper lip – these things evidently contribute to the fragility of the mental state.

Men are imprisoned by gender stereotypes too, and what constitutes male success is in desperate need of reform. Men would clearly reap the benefits of gender equality as well, and it’s now imperative that men are invited to and become advocates of feminism – not just to empower women, but to break free of the irrational gender stereotypes themselves.