Masc4Masc

Masculinity. Is it good? Is it bad? Will it get you laid, or do you just think it will? In short: who knows? But we did some research (and asked a lot of people) to try and at least vaguely answer some of these questions.

It was really interesting talking to straight men about masculinity and whether they think it impacts their desirability. Obviously our sample isn’t necessarily representative of the global population, or even the British population, but hey, we tried.

We found that characteristics typically associated with masculinity such as a good physique, athleticism, financial security and confidence were acknowledged for playing a part in male desirability but other more traditionally feminine traits, such as kindness and sensitivity were also considered important factors. Guys felt that there is some pressure to be masculine, strong and to pick up the bill, but they also felt that women don’t really care much for demonstrations of bravado.

Does that illustrate a shift away from masculinity norms? Maybe. At the end of the month in Southbank, there will be a whole weekend dedicated to addressing the challenges and issues surrounding the masculine identity, tackling stopping violence towards women, addressing the silence surrounding male mental health and generally the social constraints that define masculinity.

“But will looking masculine get me laid?” It’s complicated brah. Looking purely at the sexual appeal of yo’ face, a 2014 study showed that masculine faces were more desirable in urban environments, suggesting that traditional Western masculinity norms are socially constructed and break down in novel societies. Another study found that beards are more sought after in cities with larger populations. So for city boys, mascing it up will probably help.

At the same time, don’t over do it. Beards, for example, are trendy and all that, but a recent study suggests that when it comes to hooking up, it’s the unbearded male with the strong jawline that has the advantage, as beards signify age, maturity and social status, attributes sought after in long term partners.

“Ugh this is so heteronormative.” I was literally about to– Anyway, scientifically, it’s strongly suggested that gay men also prefer masculine men (just as straight men prefer feminine women). This pressure, contrary to popular belief and despite (or maybe because of) the gay stereotype hypermasculinises THE GAYS. As Greg Brown from ASAPScience explains, if masculinity is the approval and acceptance from other men, then gay men (who for obvious reasons constantly seek the approval of other men) are hypermasculine.

So it’s fair to say the male gay scene has a particularly odd relationship with masculinity. It glorifies and fetishises it. Masculinity becomes the main object of desire, the ideal to aspire to, the end goal. Being masculine becomes an even greater commodity: If I had a pound for every time someone begged me to let my monobrow grow, I’d probably indulge in weekly eyebrow threading.

Masculinity is constantly sought after and applauded. Gay culture is full of such examples. Just take a look at the porn industry (or just take our word for it). It is overflowing with hypermasculinity, and a quick look at the ‘dating scene’ will verify that this is not an isolated phenomenon. Hook-up apps are full of unabashed masc4masc profiles: users looking for masculine men, real men, MEN.

As a gay man, you will receive positive reinforcement for every ‘choice’ you make that enhances your masculinity. Do you have a beard? Do you have body hair? Are you tall and muscular? Are you an authority figure? Do you do SPORTS? Is your voice nice and bassy? Do you have a big dick? Prepare to be adored. You will be felt up in clubs, invited to threesomes and called daddy (probably).

On the other hand, your stock will lose value for every choice you make that embraces your feminine side. Do you look like a prepubescent girl? Do you sway your hips when you walk? Do you indulge in elaborate hand gestures? Is your voice high pitched? Do you dress flamboyantly? Sorry, no femmes (unless you’re so hyperfeminine you fall into a fetish category).

It is a very weird situation to be in. Imagine you’ve just come out, thinking you’ve left all those people who belittle your masculinity because of your sexuality (gay men aren’t real men), only to find people who passive aggressively belittle your masculinity (I’m not into camp men. I just don’t like it when gay men play into the stereotype. If I wanted an effeminate man, I’d be straight).

Yeah. Kinda awkward at best, soul-destroyingly disgusting at worst.

So does masculinity affect your sexual success? Probably. Should you be worried about it? Probably not. Just be yourself, ‘cause at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how much you’re getting, if you feel dead inside.