Crying epidemic hits Imperial
Students break down as term nears to an end
Imperial students have finally cracked under the pressure of university life, if the South Kensington mass crying events that have been popping up on facebook are anything to go by.
As of yet, over 4,000 students have exhibited interest in attending at least one of the three mass sob sessions that are scheduled to be taking place next week in various campus location across London.
The first event, which will be taking place on December 12th at UCL’s Main Quad, might see over 2,500 students attend. The event organised by Peter Agorioge and Zahra Ahmed laments “the approaching winter holidays [being] overshadowed by January exams and/or deadlines, second term and just life in general. It’s time to start procrastinating, stress-eating and crying.”
A similar event will be taking place at Queen’s Lawn in solidarity with our UCL brethren on the 14th of December.
According to organisers Paul Balaji and Kelvin Idialu-Ikato, “2016 has been one of those years. We are now undergoing a red, white and blue Brexit, Apple have decided to kill the Headphone Jack, and we’re gonna have an Oompa Loompa in the Whitehouse.
To top it all off, our dear friend Harambe is also no longer with us.
The world is weeping, and we should too.”
Of course if there’s one thing Imperial students are renowned for not doing, that’s wasting time when they could be working.
So in recognition of the complete lack of any social life during these festive yet hard times, a week long crying marathon has been organised by Charlotte Pickering, and will be taking place in the Central Library throughout next week.
As the budding mathematician says, this is an event “for those of us who can’t take time off from studying to cry, so have to multi-task.”
So if you’re still on Campus next week, maybe pack some Kleenex.
