Medics don’t see vets, Animals do

Following a strong home performance against the league leaders the previous week, ICURFC 1s took on the King’s Medics. The first challenge of the day reared its head with the devious Science Museum impounding our buses (likely wishing to examine them as they appear to be older than time itself and, judging by their condition, were used in the great siege of Troy). After breaking through the first defensive line of the day the boys reclaimed their chariot and were on their way to the grimy depths of South East London.

A big win was needed in order to maintain the challenge for the title and, of course, because RVC girls love a stallion as the author of this piece well knows. The first five minutes were relentless from the boys, giving the medics no room to breathe. Five minutes gone, five points scored, courtesy of Mike Wright who crashed in from short range.

A bit of sloppy play allowed Kings to go over in the corner to level the score. Game on. A strong restart from IC allowed Tom Hedley to trundle over from the back of the maul. Another brilliant piece of play allowed the towering Josh O’Donnell to go over in the corner. I believe there was something about a scrum try for King’s, but I won’t go into that for the sake of the forwards.

Soon IC were able to force the hand of the ref. The King’s player saw a yellow. Poor guy, he probably just fancied a respite from the unrelenting pummelling. Soon another IC maul was over the line. Tom Hedley, once again. It makes you think that maybe he plans to stay at the back of the mauls, doesn’t it?

And then it happened, a moment of pure brilliance. The ball was passed out to the faster, more handsome Bryan Habana, Alex Tamato (Not DNS). Given some space, the dashing young speedster and author of this article, was able to take on the full-back and with his silky smooth feet and tiny lady hips send him the wrong way to waltz on past him. Amato could see the line gleaming in front of him and the chance to finally earn his father’s love, but alas the opposition winger just managed to bring him down. A moment of silence broke and hearts were in mouths, which was all rather melodramatic as his momentum carried him over to score half a second later.

No. 9, James Field, was taken off the field so we could field another scrum half/stroppy toddler, Matt Blackett. Despite the best efforts of Blackett and the opposition on the side of the field, he was unable to sufficiently piss off the referee and, much to Field’s disappointment, remained on the field.

The bonus point confirmed, IC went for the jugular, knowing that points difference would likely decide the league. Ed Durkin took the ball to the line gifting a try to none other than Tom Hedley, not yet as skilled in hat-trick avoidance as our 2nd row, Toby Simpson.

Replacement wing, Oli Parker, met his match as King’s put up an unlikely attacking high ball down the wing for their hooker to chase. Poor Oli could do little to stop the bumbling knuckle dragger from plucking the ball from the air and scoring. Outclassed.

A less than satisfying end to a mediocre performance from IC, who know they’ve got more to give. Final score was 34-15. MOTM, similarly to Jonathan Joseph at the weekend, was awarded to Alex Tamato (who didn’t stop mentioning it to the RVC girls that night) for an exceptional performance.