I had sex in the tunnels under Imperial

Heads were banged, and knees were scraped

This article was published as part of Felix's Sex Survey launch.

It was a bright, sunny day in the summer of 2014. The renovation of the West Basement of Beit was well underway, and amidst the flurry of activity, I discovered some stairs hidden deep in the archives, which lead down to a dusty crawlspace, leading to the tunnels.

Knowing that this entrance would be sealed off as part of the renovation, and knowing that there weren’t many people likely to come looking around that day, opportunities were seized, and sure enough, I found myself a partner and went exploring. In anticipation of the decades of dust, we stole abandoned TEDxAlbertopolis t-shirts, barricaded the door, and crept down the stairs.

After crawling a few feet, it was pitch black; an absolute disorienting darkness where you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. We decided not to press any further after we discovered that the tunnel was partially collapsed, given that no one knew our location beyond the Snapchats we left as clues.

The ceiling was low, the floor was rough. Heads were banged, and knees were scraped. The confined space and total darkness heightened all senses, making it one of the most uncomfortable, yet most intense sexual encounters I’ve experienced. Dust-ruined stolen t-shirts abandoned in the tunnel (where they will for evermore lay), we emerged blinking into the brightness of Beit Quad, our lungs thirsty for air that has not been undisturbed for years. We were tracked down in the bar, half covered in dust, by disbelieving friends who had followed our disappearing photographic breadcrumbs.

Was it worth it? Absolutely. Between the unexpectedly pleasurable rendezvous, and having an unbeatable story to tell at parties, this experience has served me well. Would I recommend it? Well, if you can find any more entrances, and you want to risk finding out whether or not the rumours are true that you’ll be expelled from College if you’re caught in the tunnels, absolutely go for it. But watch out for the dust. You’ll be finding it in strange places for weeks.