POV: Ratchet and Clank 2016 ... just ... just why?

Having just finished Ratchet and Clank 2016 in its entirety I have to say: considering the great reviews, I’m not actually convinced reviewers were playing the same game. Before I start the inevitable ensuing rant, I would like to say that the series holds a special place in my heart. I got into it when I was 9 years old and have been a follower ever since; the start to my R&C journey began with Tools of Destruction and then followed chronologically until Crack in Time, when I retroactively began playing the earlier games after the HD collection was released (most of which I have platinumed).

Here’s my hot take: having played majority of the past games, I can honestly tell you that R&C 2016 is an utterly soulless remaster of the original. I will not contest that it’s a visual masterpiece akin to an ultra-high definition Pixar game – but the magic of the earlier games just isn’t there. The game has been stripped of its character, presumably for fear of doing anything vaguely controversial as they shift to targeting a younger audience. It is left with none of the original’s humour, character development, or even the core message of its story.

My expectations were already low, but they dropped further upon starting up the game and being greeted by a generic menu and the absolute bullshit that is only having one save file – something absolutely ridiculous, given that the earlier and much older games had multiple save slots. And it gets worse! I understand holding the player’s hand, especially for younger players. However, compulsively spewing the same effing phrase of “get the pixeliser here” every 15 seconds, with Qwark’s narration piping in every 8 and the enemies talking every 4 on top, is frustrating to say the least – especially when combined with the nauseating light show that results from running a bullet hell game in 30fps. So help me God, I swear that every time I heard the weapons vendor screech about a new unlock, the imminent rage-aneurysm the game was concocting drew closer by another minute – a doomsday clock on my life and soul as it was drained from me by the playing experience. And who could forget that the game’s cutscenes were essentially copy and pasted from the film - except with introductions of villains being cut out despite originally being in the film, which just left the game feeling like even more of a ‘rush job’.

Don’t get me started about the lack of character development in the game. There’s no form of friction between Ratchet and Clank, nor any sense of lessons being learned and attitudes changing, which was the essence of the original’s message of settling one other’s differences for the sake of a common goal. Neither is there any form of friendship between the two characters. It’s painful seeing the complicated back-and-forth relationship presented in the original game being bastardised so much; with no faults and a perfect alliance it feels fake and unrealistic, and more importantly it renders the characters two-dimensional. In the end the game’s visual beauty is akin to makeup on a pig – you can make it prettier, but it’s not enough to hide the underlying faults.