The Loyle Carner Starter Pack: A 'How To' Guide

I should start by saying that I do enjoy Loyle Carner’s music. It’s just that since the release of Not Waving, But Drowning his musical formula has become annoyingly apparent. The guy has talent and lots of people get something from his music, but he ain’t immune to criticism. Now that I’ve completely convinced you I’m not a prick for writing this, let me take you through the six steps you need to become your own mini Carner.

Before step one you’re going to need a stage name. Loyle Carner’s real name is Ben Coyle-Larner. See what he did there? So, my stage name would be Ruthrie Guby. Alright now let’s hit the studio.

1. Every rap song needs a beat, so that’s where we’ll start. Carner’s beats reflect his “down to earth” style/brand by using acoustic instruments and samples. A nice crisp drum kit with a good high-hat and rim click sound is guaranteed to match more than half of Carner’s discography. Maybe throw in an open high-hat or variation on the kick drum, but don’t make yourself work too hard. On top of your drums you’ll need a catchy melody that can loop and not get annoying. If you’re stuck on which instrument to choose then just pick the first piano you see. If you can’t play an instrument don’t worry, you’re going to need a friend like Tom Misch eventually and I’m sure they’ll be able to riff something better than you can.
2. Now that you’ve got something to rap over it’s time for you to show off your vocals. The contents of Carner’s verses are diverse enough to make them difficult to group into one category, but his choruses are a different story. Write something either two or four lines long, the simpler the better. The most important part of this step is that you must repeat what you wrote twice. It’s important that people are able to sing along after just one listen. Even if you have a talented songwriter (e.g. Jorja Smith) featuring on your track you still need to wedge in there with a doubled-up simplistic chorus.
3. You’ve got the catchiest parts of the song sorted, now you need some substance for the verses. Carner doesn’t get worked up over a lot, so your approach should be as thoughtful and considered as possible. Present your chosen topic in words that seem like they’ve been inspired by a conversation with a therapist – a healthy way of looking at it. The key part of matching Carner’s style is recreating his timbre. The best way I can describe it is “breakfast tea rap”. Like a sleepier Rejjie Snow or Mick Jenkins but without talking about ass. Reasonable tempo, no sign of aggression/anger, and low energy.
4. Hey presto! You’ve made a song, but you aren’t fully living the Carner lifestyle. Mums are great right? We’ve all got a guardian we love and cherish, but you’ll need to turn that love up to eleven. Carner loves his mum like Kanye loves Kanye. Jean (his mum) even has her own track on Not Waving, But Drowning; a touching letter to her son. Please don’t think I have a problem with this step, it’s actually my favourite piece of his repetitive nature. His love for Jean is not a bad thing, it just is a thing.
5. Human connection is at the heart of Carner’s albums, and nothing screams human connection more than a collection of secretly recorded voice memos. In Not Waving, But Drowning Carner had recordings of chilling in the studio, the World Cup, talking to a cab driver, etc. Once you’ve got your memos, pick four or five and wedge them in there at seemingly random moments.
6. Lastly, you’ve got to get the “uh”s. The “uh” is a staple of the Carner style. Got a moment in a track that feels like it’s missing something? Just exhale shortly and make a vague noise. For some reason this is the one that bugs me the most, probably the reason I decided to write this. I’ve combed the lyrics, crunched the numbers, and mathematically proven that from debut to second album Carner has become more repetitive. There was an overall increase in “uhs” of 134% from album 1 to album 2, with a track by track increase of 155%. In album 2 there was an average of one “uh” every 26 seconds. I could pull up my working or make a chart, but you likely started reading this to escape using your brain.

Phew it’s all done, and look at us, just a couple of Carners. That was the hard part. With our toolkit formula perfected we’ll soon be topping Carner himself. Now, all we have to do is garner a following of millions and produce a collection of songs with millions of streams.