Issue 1874
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Horoscopes 03/06/2021

NegaFelix

NegaFelix

— 1 min read

Well well well, what do the stars have in store for us this week?

ARIES: This week its revealed covid spread so rapidly in china after a typo urged citizens to sneeze the means of production.

TAURUS: This week you make a 5 minute hack video baklava out of printer paper and maple syrup.

GEMINI: This week Thanos snaps his fingers in a zee formation.

CANCER: This week your mental break turns into a 2 month, unpaid mental leave of absence.

LEO: This week you take off your lucky pants and put on your sex gilet.

VIRGO: This week you pay your landlord in stock options in your startup.

LIBRA: This week you learn shorthand after a tragic industrial accident.

SCORPIO: This week your cat gets an emotional support rat.

SAGITTARIUS: This week you illustrate a point by spilling two cups of coffee and a bowl of chilli con carne.

CAPRICORN: This week sales of high altitude self propelled missiles skyrocket and sales of very deep natural rocky holes plummet and sales of Spanish plates with camp English accents plateau.

AQUARIUS: This week the ghosts of deadlines past, present, and future show you how you will get a 2:2.

PISCES: This week you finish your dissertation just in time for your supervisor to call you an idiot.

From Issue 1774

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Imperial security team trials body cameras

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Imperial security team trials body cameras

Imperial Community Safety and Security (CSS) officers have started a four-week trial of wearing Body-Worn Cameras (BWC) on patrol duty since Wednesday 20th August.  According to Imperial’s BWC code of practice, the policy aims at enhancing on-campus “safety and wellbeing” as well as protecting security staff from inaccurate allegations.

By Guillaume Felix Clock Streamline Icon: https://streamlinehq.com2 min read
Peter Haynes to take over Provost role in October

News

Peter Haynes to take over Provost role in October

Professor Peter Haynes has been appointed as the new Provost and Deputy President of Imperial College. The current  Vice-Provost for Education and Student Experience, Haynes will succeed the outgoing Provost, Professor Ian Walmsley, who has served in the role since 2018. Imperial President Hugh Brady said Professors Haynes and Walmsley

By Guillaume Felix Clock Streamline Icon: https://streamlinehq.com1 min read
Why RAG’s bungee jump event never took place

News

Why RAG’s bungee jump event never took place

Earlier this academic year, Imperial Raising and Giving (RAG), had announced the return of their charity bungee jump after a hiatus of 10 years. The event, however, was postponed several times, and Felix can now reveal why it was cancelled. The event, initially scheduled for November 13th, was postponed several

By Mohammad Majlisi and Nadeen Daka Clock Streamline Icon: https://streamlinehq.com2 min read