Twenty-somethings swap half-marathons for smoking

Independent coffee shops in Parsons Green have reported that with the current consciousness on caffeine intake, cold brew sales have steeply declined, many opting for an iced matcha latte instead. This is due to the caffeine in a cup of matcha binding phytonutrients in a way that slows the body’s absorption, leaving a longer buzz, and less dependency on it. “Young people are ready to take back control of their health after fourteen years of not being able to do so,” said GAIL’s barista, Kai. They also noted the amount of people asking if they had any ashtrays for the outdoor seating area. Students and West London creatives usually spend long afternoons ‘working from home’ in these cafes, purchasing only one drink, but recently the number of customers visiting after their morning five-kilometre run has steeply declined. To investigate this further, we decided to interview a few smokers outside The Gourmet Hound on Fulham Palace Road.

Blex Aull, 25, said he had “quit half-marathons since he has been on a major calorie deficit since taking up smoking”, so he doesn’t need to exercise as much. He said he also saved money by cutting out his morning vegan cinnamon swirl.

A PhD student from Imperial College London, Feb Senton, told us he had needed material for his thesis on plastic-consuming bacteria, so he had purchased twenty disposable lighters, but they kept disappearing. He said it “wasn’t economically or environmentally viable to not use them for their original purpose”.

Emmanuel Frederick, 20, a self-described “comeback indie sleazebag”, said Vogue slims helped him “manifest urbane vibes”. After a series of “hugely successful” Hinge dates in which he received multiple compliments on his cologne (Maison Margiela Jazz Club), he decided to opt for an organic substitute rather than repurchase the £120 bottle.

Despite not previously knowing each other, the group spoke intimately, asking each other for lighters and talking about tobacco brands. When asked about vaping the correspondents shook their heads disapprovingly, Emmanuel adding, “it’s just not the same is it”.