Horoscopes 12/02/2021

This week's astrological predictions

Horoscopes

by NegaFelix
on 12 February 2021

in Issue 1764

Aries

This week you/re mute in real life, everyone keeps telling you to unmute yourself but you were just born that way

Taurus

This week, sheet music is cancelled for too many slurs

Gemini

This week you have a platonic friendship. Your friend has been dead for 2000 years

Cancer

This week you are morally ambiguous. Or are you?

Leo

This week you celebrate the new year by watching oxatouille

Virgo

This week your speech impediment is passed off as lag

Libra

This week your empty shampoo bottles unionise

Scorpio

This week you eat all the chocolates

Sagittarius

This week rapper Mobb Deep discovered to be patient zero for new, deadlier, SARS virus. He is reportedly still proud to be ‘the illest’

Capricorn

This week you have been arrested for protesting by “insert state here”

Aquarius

This week you start a tow-truck breakdown assistance firm to meet ladies but you end up hiring a lot of them. After all, when the towing gets muff, the muff gets towing

Pisces

This week you find that the hole in your pocket just leads to another, deeper pocket

Interview with Zhengli Lim, aka ‘Ribbon Guy’

Puzzles

Gogen 06/11/2020

Write letters into each circle to form the listed words. Letters can be linked by moving between adjacent cells horizontally, vertically or diagonally in any direction. You may use each letter in the alphabet only once.

Comment

Stop the unethical deal between Imperial College London and Huawei

Comment writer Subboor Ahmad argues for students to take a more active stance to the Imperial-Huawei partnership.

News

GSU pres resigns in protest over Huawei vote

Zixiao Wang GSU president has resigned from Council and refused to return saying that Council members had no-mandate to vote on these matters and did not represent their students

News

Watch defending University Challenge champions, Imperial, battle Exeter on Monday

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Having lost their first match against Strathclyde, the Imperial College University Challenge team are making their next appearance on Monday 19th October against Exeter in an attempt to remain in the competition.

About Felix

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