Well well well, what do the stars have in store for us this week?
ARIES: This week its revealed covid spread so rapidly in china after a typo urged citizens to sneeze the means of production.
TAURUS: This week you make a 5 minute hack video baklava out of printer paper and maple syrup.
GEMINI: This week Thanos snaps his fingers in a zee formation.
CANCER: This week your mental break turns into a 2 month, unpaid mental leave of absence.
LEO: This week you take off your lucky pants and put on your sex gilet.
VIRGO: This week you pay your landlord in stock options in your startup.
LIBRA: This week you learn shorthand after a tragic industrial accident.
SCORPIO: This week your cat gets an emotional support rat.
SAGITTARIUS: This week you illustrate a point by spilling two cups of coffee and a bowl of chilli con carne.
CAPRICORN: This week sales of high altitude self propelled missiles skyrocket and sales of very deep natural rocky holes plummet and sales of Spanish plates with camp English accents plateau.
AQUARIUS: This week the ghosts of deadlines past, present, and future show you how you will get a 2:2.
PISCES: This week you finish your dissertation just in time for your supervisor to call you an idiot.