As Editor of a student newspaper in a student union without any real political agenda, you know these kind of weeks are coming. Those weeks where almost nothing happens of any worth are the ones when you try to prepare for, you think you’ve prepared for, but when push comes to shove, you haven’t really. Well last week was the push, and this week’s the callous shove into an oblivion of unfilled and pointless headlines.
Now, I’m not saying the headlines we’ve run with this week are pointless, and they’re clearly not unfilled; there’s black on white as you can see for yourself. The weeks of oblivion are the ones where the editors and writers have to dig deep and really dredge out topical and interesting articles for you to read. Mining for stories that are both is taxing, so I really do hope you appreciate this week’s issue.
Anyone who uses the Student Activities Centre in the Union will have probably seen me relentlessly hunting down members of staff or certain Deputy Presidents of the Union, and the result of it is that this week’s news is quite hacky. I can only apologise. If you don’t know what a ‘hack’ is, it is the type of person that thinks the Union and its associated politics are the most important agenda in the world. They have an unnervingly concise knowledge and overstated opinion on every little aspect of the Union, from the internal society claim forms to constitution updates. Everything in Beit Quad is integral to the running of the nation, and a hack wouldn’t be half-surprised if Gordon Brown marched into Beit and announced that he was taking over the operations were so important.
By definition, I am a hack. I need to be, really. I have to understand Union politics like it’s simple integration by numbers of four-compound alpha-uranium-produced matrices, otherwise I couldn’t do my job effectively. However, I do try and detach myself from the world of hackery and hopefully I’ll come out of this job alive. I’ve tried to keep articles about Union finances and politics simple and structured, because the matters being discussed do matter to everyone, I promise. People just won’t care if they have to sieve through the silly terms the Union use like “Executive Reserve”.
Joking aside, after last year’s rocky relationship, felix and the Union have a decent understanding this year. This is evidenced by their willingness to run the competition to rename the Union bars through the paper. The best (possibly worst) way of describing this is if both felix and the Union had Facebook profiles (which I’m convinced they both do). felix would be in an ‘Open Relationship with Imperial College Union’. We feed off each other, we both have needs each other can provide, but felix isn’t scared of turning around on the Union, stamping on its feet and putting a gun to its head demanding answers when need be. It’s just we’re still waiting for that time when we can get our rifle out and load it.
See, 500 words or so and I haven’t made a single cat pun like I usually do. I think you’ve all realised felix is a feline creature by now without me making what I deem clever quips about claws and pussies and whatnot.