DISCLAIMER : I am in no way to be held responsible for any loss of productivity, social life, or ability to graduate caused by this article.

I can’t sleep at night. Shadows dance around my room, lit by an eerie, diffuse glow. Sometimes I catch sight of my pale, haggard reflection looking back at me; I am a sight for sore eyes. I blearily focus on the time: it’s half past three in the morning. I have to be up in five hours. Why can’t I just put my head on the pillow and drift off?

A small rectangle enters my field of vision for the umpteenth time that night. Within it, an arcane, circular symbol, followed by some glyphs that are becoming difficult to make out. Seemingly unbidden, an arrow moves up to meet it. As much as I try to tear myself away, I can’t.

Click.

A man in a panda suit proceeds to trash someone’s office because he refused a cheese sandwich of a certain brand.

Click.

47 facts about Nicolas Cage enter my brain.

Click.

A bunch of guys cook, and then eat, a bird inside a bird inside a bird inside a pig.

Click. Click. Click. Click…Click.

You see, I’m an addict. My drug of choice? StumbleUpon

As the pixels holding my eyelids up finally give way, I curse myself. It seems like I’m going to miss a couple of lectures tomorrow. You see, I’m an addict. My drug of choice? StumbleUpon.

If you haven’t heard of this nifty little toolbar yet, you probably use the internet for healthy things, such as keeping in touch with friends or ordering your groceries. When you download the add-on (available for most popular browsers), it’ll ask you to specify your fields of interest amongst a very complete list of possibilities.

Once that’s done, just click the button in the toolbar, and you will Stumble onto a random website that the program thinks you’ll like. Press ‘thumbs up’ if you do, and ìthumbs downî if you don’t. This refines the choices made by the toolbar for your next page. And so on, and so forth… ad infinitum. Simple, but deadly effective at killing time. Procrastination is but a click away.

Having introduced you to this black hole of productivity, I could go on to comment about the way modern society has accustomed us to rapid bursts of information, thus creating a generation of people with short attention spans. Unfortunately, I haven’t got enough space.

Go read the next article already.