The College has responded to criticism of its policy of expecting all students studying from home to have WiFi by sending out flipbooks and sheet music which together can be used by offline students to reconstruct the lecture experience. The flipbooks, which are available in half, double, andf 1.25 times speed, were put together by members of the Live Music society and the Art society the new teaching delivery method has been a hit among the small but hugely marginalised Imperial Portsmouth Brethren and Amish communities, both of whom refuse to use technology in any way. 

Representative of the anti-technology student communities, Ann Faylward, a fourth year JMC student that draws all her code up on a blackboard in chalk, told NegaFelix that this was a really big day for representation at Imperial. “Finally, people like me will no longer need to rely on stealing notes from our peers and can instead get down to some proper study.” 

When NegaFelix spoke to members of the Art and Live Music societies that were involved in the project they were matter-of-fact about the process. “The sheet music is really not much to get excited about. Most lecturers speak in monotone with the really engaging ones usually having a vocal range of about three notes which makes it easy for us to pen in. Other than the occasional voice break up several octaves, once you get into the groove of a lectures voice you can transcribe them fairly easily.” The members of the Art society were similarly pragmatic. “The low quality of many lecturers’ cameras and internet connections means that videos are so low quality that we can use the same flipbook for every lecturer and simply sub in the appropriate diagrams..” 

When we spoke to the Vice Provost (Arts and Crafts) Schmitt Stick about the project, he was keen to stress that this was only the early stages of very promising new revenue stream. He explained that “This is a matter of critical representation. In order to avoid some students being disadvantaged by their views we are going to be abolishing all computer usage. We apologise for the discriminative way that we have employed computers in research and learning over the last decade. The College is dedicated to learning how to be a better institution every day and fighting discrimination in every form that it takes.”

NegaFelix reached out to the Amish Society at Imperial for comment, but at the time of publishing we have recieved no response to our email. 

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