Voice of Reason
Since this article is well behind schedule, I am able to pass comment on the Election results. Not Wirral South (allow a man his private grief) but our own little shindig. All in all, you, for the most part, voted sensibly. Congratulations to Smita, Rob And Jeremy, whom I know will do a sterling job next year. As for the Presidency, the result was hugely relieving. I have now seen four campaigns, and this has been without doubt the most pathetic. The two candidates (I suppose that should be three, including New Election, who behaved impeccably throughout) left us in doubt that they were running for no other reason than to shore up decidedly soggy CVs.
Suggestions to turn ICU into a brothel, for example, are fine as slightly jokey asides, but in the absence of any real ideas and proposals, one is left feeling that this is a major plank of the manifesto. In the light of this and other examples of outright stupidity, mitigated only by one of the candidates having the good sense to throw in the towel, it is hardly surprising that New Election won by a landslide. IC does not have the most sophisticated electorate in the world (witness the pathetic herd instinct at Mary’s), but to suggest that Felix unfairly coaxed students into voting this way is laughable. As one of the great philosophers once said, we may be daft, but we’re not stupid.
Last week’s Felix was jammed packed with bits worthy of mention. The piece on the Monarchy is not one of these. Rarely have I seen such contemptuous ill-informed, hysterical drivel on the pages of this esteemed publication. Life is too short to waste time responding to this sort of rubbish, particularly given that the moron that wrote it remained anonymous, so I shan’t. I loved the interview with Mike Hansen, which came as a surprise to me. Full marks for your devastating honesty, Mike, saying that you are not particularly worried about waste in your department. You can say that again, as I suggested on the back of the page that had your interview. If your conscience is completely clear on the efficiency front, someone in your department is concealing a lot from you.
The piece on accommodation was very interesting. Since there were few rich pickings in the SCR this week, I followed the lead of my esteemed colleague Don on IC Dystorter and climbed up Queen’s Tower to spy the rubbish rustling around down below, looking for anything useful. I was in luck. Simon Wistow stated that halls of residence suffered from a crippling lack of funds. This is not strictly true. The money is there, but Estate’s seem loathe to spend it. Among the crisp packets blowing in the wind, I saw something that said Estates underspent on residence annual maintenance contracts by 53% in the year to 31st July 1996. Mr Wistow and his investigators will be delighted to hear that this is not afflicting all walks of College life; Ł164,500 was spent when Suite Five was beautified. As of the 31st September 1996, there was Ł1.2 million in the residences long term maintenance capital account. Also, as I heard in the foyer of Sherfield, 23% of the residences budget goes on cleaning, almost as much as the 31% spent on premises themselves. Given the huge number of cleaners I remember from my days in Linstead, this does not surprise me. Bearing in mind that 14% of the total budget goes on their wages alone, this is an issue which must be tackled. A shortage of cash is not the problem. A willingness to spend it and spend it wisely is the problem in this case. Plus ça change..
