Film & TV

Hey, Rastamouse, where's that cheese me like?

Welcome to the TV-obsessed world of James Simpson

Hey, Rastamouse, where's that cheese me like?

Give it up for the 'Easy Crew' – "der to make de bad tings good" – Rastamouse, Scratchy and Zooma in CBeebies' new series titled Rastamouse. The show seems to be popular with adults too, with the widely held theory that "cheese" actually means "marijuana". Refreshingly, the mice are puppets in stop-motion, rather than CGI like the rest of children's TV these days. It's a pity that their English grammar is akin to that of an ill-educated rap-star, but the fact that they all sound like Lenny Henry more than makes up for it. If you're really pissed and bored it'll be the funniest thing you've seen since Susan Boyle.

President Wensleydale (seemingly erroneously dressed as a policemouse – trouserless too of course) often enlists the help of the Easy Crew to get to the bottom of Grove Town's petty crimes, which are always punished with what seems to be community service rather than custodial sentences. The subliminal message of all this is bound to create a generation of gangsta-speaking, car-stealing, no-trouser-wearing people who expect to say sorry and paint some walls to atone for their crimes.

This week's Hustle was particularly good, as the team's con nearly falls apart when Ash twats his face and ends up in hospital, developing an unusual condition which stops him telling lies (something of a problem for a professional con-artist). Predictably everything works out when he twats himself for a second time and his lying ability is restored.

The first episode in the BBC's Toughest Placeto be a... followed paramedic Angie Dymott as she spends two weeks in Guatemala City – probably one of the world's most violent places outside of Max Moseley's head. More used to dealing with old people's heart attacks and kitchen accidents, Angie struggles to keep her horrified reactions to herself at the sight of so many gang stabbings and shootings.

If like me, you stayed in and did nothing this Valentine's Day (sobs), you might have seen The Worst Place to be Gay on BBC3. This rather odd documentary was presented by Radio 1 DJ Scott Mills who travels to Uganda and meets, amongst others, the Preacher who thinks that homosexuality should be punished by the death penalty. Mills tries a witch-doctor's cure for homosexuality, which consists of his partially naked self being wiped over with a wet chicken. After this ordeal, Mills proclaims that he feels "dirtier than before". We are also treated to a few pearls of wisdom from the people on the street – "I was asked to be gay once, I refused". I think he may have misunderstood the concept slightly.