Cambridge punts

I was, as usual, fighting a losing battle.

“You see, Cambridge is far, far superior in simply every way, old chum,” said my old schoolmate, on the other, absurdly richer, side of the webcam.

“Consider, if you will, the countless events of vast social importance. Nightly, we dine in the presence of giants.” He leant back in his plush leather armchair, quaffing a glass of port with one hand and raising a cigar with the other.

“Now tell me, what is it you do at your precious institution? Sit in your labs all day and complain?”

He paused momentarily, while carefully adjusting his top hat, yet before I could respond, he swept on towards his grand conclusion. “You might well think that you enjoy Imperial, my friend, but we,” he said, imperiously gesturing with what I could only assume was his serf-beating cane, “are the elite.”

He was wrong, of course. Even though Oxbridge might be the “elite” darlings of league tables and Hollywood writers needing a back story for their British accented characters, what my friend failed to realise was that it’s not any kind of university prestige that defines us, it’s the overall experience that we make of our time here. Centuries of tradition don’t matter one iota when students and staff band together to make not only Imperial, but universities all over the country a better place to learn, study and have a great time.

People like my friend shouldn’t be lording it over what they consider to be lesser universities, because, in the end, what defines lesser? Not being bound by archaic drinking rules? Similarly we shouldn’t look down upon those lower down the league table just because we might have bigger lasers. We’ve all got the same thing to offer, and that’s the student experience.

But on the other hand, I hear a lot of people complain about Imperial. From the chap last week about the human-rights-opposing sex ratio, or the colleague next to me shouting about how he can’t do his “damn proof by induction, and why are they setting us this much work?” The more I hear this, the more I feel it makes us sound as if we’re all unhinged maniacs with the only clubbing going on being that of the seal variety. It’s just wrong.

Equally, there’s so much more to Imperial than relentless deadlines. If you think you’re regretting choosing to come here – perhaps because on Facebook Mr. X devotes every passing night to posting banterous photos of the latest union rave at Loughborough, or Miss. Y updates her statuses all the time about how she’s “totally in love with Southampton” – just take a step back and consider the breadth of what’s going on around campus right now.

Even easier, just hop on over to the news section of this very paper. “Oh I see,” you more than likely aren’t thinking at the moment, “Mr. Co–News Editor has just written this so he can big up his section.”

Well, that’s only half true. I’m also currently typing this at gunpoint.

Joking aside, (send help urgently) go ahead and take a look. People voicing their opinions with what’s happening on campus and what should be happening in response – this is what it means to be at Imperial. This is why I love the events of December’s Life Sciences protests. Students and staff joined together to make a real difference. They want to make a change for the better, which really does transcend the stereotypes that so often beleaguer Imperial.

The opinion that this university is full to the brim of awkward nerds is as wrong as the opinion that Cambridge is made up entirely of Tory voting toffs; sure you’ll find some, but ultimately, in this day and age, as more and more students from all walks of life find themselves reaching the higher levels of education, such trivialisations fall flat. Stereotypes are just a punchline. You’re at university, with a wealth of education at your fingertips, and that’s what matters.

Sure, we can big ourselves up when we want, we’re good at science. But hey, I hear LSE are pretty sick at economics, and UCL are probably amazing at…drinking? Yeah, that works.

I’m proud to be at Imperial, and I hope you are to. For once, ignore the stereotypes and just take a minute to find something positive. You’re part of the student experience, and that makes this place, like others the world over, an amazing community.

Apart from Sheffield – bloody hipsters on unicycles.